Conspiracies
by Insanity on Wheels
Summary: A television show hosted by Yoh Asakura! The rules are...anything goes! Feel free to join in the insane crossover fun. Anyone and anything is accepted whether it be game, anime, etc.
1. Episode 1

(A/N: I OWN NOTHING! OO Except the title of the show and the idea for this fic! Bwahahahaha! This is my official Disclaimer!)

Yoh: (sitting on a big black chair looking into a camera) Welcome audience, this is my show! It's called Conspiracies! The authoress doesn't own any of us here. (coughs) Anyway, wanna know what this show is about?

Audience: YEAH!

Yoh: This is a live show and this is its first time on air. I am your host Yoh Asakura…

Fangirls: (cheer and throw glitter)

Yoh: Anyway, this show is a show in which I will invite people in and ask them questions. First I ask questions and then the fun part, the audience and readers get to ask questions to the guest!

Audience: (screams and cheers)

Yoh: I will randomly have on a co-host until I eventually find a permanent co-host to help me along with the show. But in the meantime, let me introduce you to everyone that's already here…you know me…Yoh Asakura, from Shaman King…

Fangirls: (hoot, whistle, cheer, and throw glitter at Yoh)

Yoh: Ladies…calm down! Did I mention this show is very diverse and reaches out to any subject that can be discussed? By diverse, I mean, you can be anything and go on this show! You can be from anywhere and be on this show!

Audience: YAY!

Yoh: Let me introduce my cameraman for example! It's Dante from the Devil May Cry game series!

Dante: (turns camera towards himself and waves in it and then at the audience; turns the camera back to Yoh)

Yoh: Okay ladies and gentlemen out there, that's everyone that you need to know about for now! (winks) I'd like to call out my very first guest on this show! How about it?

Random demon from audience: HELLL YEAH!

Yoh: ; Okay…you all know him as the evil Android 17 from Dragon Ball Z, please give him a warm welcome! 17, come on out!

17: (walks out and sits in a chair next to Yoh's)

Yoh: So, how's Dragon Ball Z treating you?

17: At first, it wasn't all that bad…but then Cell just had to come along!

Yoh: yeah, but you shouldn't be upset, you came back in Dragon ball GT right?

17: yeah, only for a few episodes! They just had nothing else so they put me in there!

Yoh: So, you're not doing so well then huh?

17: no, I feel discriminated against because I'm not human! 

Yoh: Aw, that's too bad! Well, you won't be discriminated on now! You're on Conspiracies!

17: I know I heard you when it first came on. Any more questions?

Yoh: Oh, lots! Hey, you ever had a crush on 18?

17: No way in hell! She's impossible to work with!

Yoh: How so 17?

17: She can't be satisfied for crap! I give her destruction and it was fun for a while, and then she wants to start sparing people and go shopping and all this other human stuff! It makes me sick!

Random demons in audience: HELL YEAH!

17: And when I give her that, then she claims that things are still boring when she got whatever she wanted! NO! You'd have to be insane to have a crush on her!

Yoh: I see, so what do you think of her a Krillin then?

17: A small dude with a small brained wife, what a perfect match!

Yoh: Wow, you really feel strong about disliking 18 now don't you?

17: Of course!

Yoh: What was 16 like?

17: 16 was such a pushover! I mean, I know that guy was supposed to only get Goku, but you could make that dude upset over the smallest things! A bird breaks its wing, he'd cry a freaking river!

Yoh: Wow, that's a real pussy!

17: You took the words right out of my mouth.

Yoh: I did?

17: yes you did Yoh.

Yoh: How do you know my name?

17: Um…someone backstage told me your name!

Yoh: (looks to audience) well how do you like that? 

Audience: (claps for no apparent reason) ;

Yoh: Hey 17, how good are your senses?

17: Better than humans.

Yoh: How would you like to become a human?

17: I guess I'd try it out for a while.

Yoh: EXCELLENT! Audience, what do you think?

Audience: TURN EM HUMAN! YEAH!

Yoh: okay then…when we come back after commercial break, 17 will be human!

Dante: And now time for a commercial break with me! 

Commercials

Cat: YUM! I WANT ME SOME GODDAMN MEOW MIX!

Woman: Here you go kitty! (puts meow mix in a bowl)

Cat: OH SHIT NOW! Thank you owner!

A female dog outside barks.

Cat: SHUT UP BITCH! (goes back to eating meow mix)

Big Booming Voice: MEOW MIX! IN STORES TODAY! IT'LL MAKE YOUR CAT FLIP OUT LIKE MAD!

End Commercial

Dante: Wasn't that…um…special? Anyway…now for a short intermission before we get back to our program…

Short Intermission

Ryou Bakura (from Yugioh): Hello people out there!

Yoko Kurama (from Yu Yu Hakusho): hi… peoples.

Ryou: We're going to perform a short dance for you okay?

Yoko: Which one Ryou?

Ryou: The one we practiced yesterday! YAY!

Kouga (from Inuyasha): (gets out a boom box) I'm the dj! YEAH! (turns on the electric slide)

Audience: BOOO!

Kouga: MY BAD! WRONG SONG! (turns on salsa)

Audience: YAY!

Kouga: Ungrateful bastards!

Yoko and Ryou: (do a 2 minuet salsa)

2 minuets later…

Ryou: We're done!

Yoko: Bye.

Kouga: (turns boom box off)

Kouga, Yoko, and Ryou: (leave)

End of short intermission

Dante: Weren't they good at what they do?

Audience: YEAH!

Dante: Knew it. (turns camera back on and aims it at Yoh and 17)

Yoh and 17: (sitting just like before)

Yoh: I am now sitting with a human 17!

17: Won't I have to make a name for myself?

Yoh: The government doesn't know that you exist! So you're okay.

17: Good, cause I'd rather be called 17 anyway!

Yoh: YAY! Okay 17! 

17:

Yoh: Got any questions for me 17?

17: yeah! Can I be a co-host on this show?

Yoh: I like you! So yeah! So how about it audience?

Audience: YEAH!

Spongebob: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Audience: Spongebob? OO (throw food at Spongebob)

Agent Smith: I am head of security, what is going on?

Random Fan: (stands up) THAT SPONGY BASTARD DISSED THE AUDIENCE!

Agent Smith: Well, you weren't literally speaking English!

Random human: YES WE WERE! Replay what we all said on the big tv!

Yoh: 17, aka co-host, you do the honors! (hands him a button)

17: YAY! (presses the button)

Yoh: YAY!

A big tv comes up and replays what the audience said…

Audience: YEAH!

Tape goes off…

Random kitsune: WE SAID YEAH! NOT WHATEVER THAT BITCH HEARD!

Spongebob: I'll rip your sorry ass to shreds!

17: Where did he come from? O.o;

Yoh: No clue… --'

Random kitsune: YOU WANNA GO AT IT?

Spongebob: C'mon then bia!

Agent Smith: (uses a tranquilizer on Spongebob)

Neo: (drags Spongebob offstage)

Agent Smith: Mr. Anderson….

Neo: Agent Smith….

Rin: they're gonna fight! () ();

Yoh: HEY! HEY! HEY! NO FIGHTING!

17: Should I break them up?

Spongebob: (gets back up)

Dante: (impales Spongebob with Sparta)

Spongebob: (dies)

17: Why'd you do that Dante?

Dante: He was talking about my mother earlier.

Yoh: ; I guess it was for good reasoning…

17: I'll bet…so Yoh, can I be your permanent co-host?

Yoh: You are doing good right now! YAY! You can!

17: YAY! I'm very happy right now!

Dante: Hold on! (goes back to the camera)

Neo: I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THE HEAD OF SECURITY!

Agent Smith: I HAVE TO WORK WITH HIM!

Yoh: Well to decide…

Agent Smith: I QUIT! (storms out)

17: Well, I guess that Neo is now our head of security.

Yoh: Should that be all for today's show then?

17: NO! WAIT! We never got to talk jokes on anyone!

Yoh: This is the first episode! No bashing yet!

17: Aw… --;

Yoh: But we can still talk okay? Got any questions for meh?

17: Yeah, how much do you want me on this show?

Yoh: I can use all the help that I can get!

17: How much do you like me?

Yoh: If I were gay, I would want you to be my lover!

17: Do you mean that? (blushes)

Yoh: yeah! Really!

17: Why don't we bring in another guest?

Yoh: Good idea!

17: Ladies and gentlemen this next guest loves his toons and his new boyfriend!

Yoh: Please welcome a Mr. Maximillion Pegasus!

Pegasus and FF7's Sephiroth: (walk out)

Pegasus: HI ALL!

17: Pegasus, who is this? You're supposed to come in alone!

Pegasus: Oh, I'm never alone now that I have my Sepphy!

Yoh: o.o; wow…so this is your new boyfriend?

Pegasus: YESSIR! (puts arms around Sephiroth)

17: wow, what an odd couple! (sweatdrops)

Pegasus: OH! It's okay to be jealous! . I'll still answer all questions pronto!

Yoh: okay…so introduce him to us!

Pegasus: This is my new boyfriend Sephiroth! Sepphy, say hi!

Sephiroth: (waves) hi

Pegasus: He's really shy in front of a lot of people.

17: Only in front of other people?

Pegasus: Yes, but when we're alone he isn't shy! Are you hun?

Sephiroth: (blushes) n-no…

Yoh: Well I don't know if you know, but we get everyone backstage on tape before they come out. Here's you guys.

Giant tv appears onstage.

Sephiroth: (licking and kissing Pegasus's neck)

Tv goes off and disappears.

Pegasus: (reveals hickies on his neck)

Audience: WOW… '

17: oh my…. (blinks) h-how deep is the relationship?

Pegasus: Oh, we always love having time for GGS!

Yoh: Don't mind me asking, but what's GGS?

Pegasus and Sephiroth: Great Gay Sex.

Yoh and 17: ; teheheh, no one heard that alright! ;

Audience: SAFE WITH US!

17: Is that all for today's show?

Yoh: What do you mean?

17: (whispers) if we ask Pegasus anything, he's just gonna redirect it towards his relationship with his Sepphy!

Yoh: Good thinking! Alrighty Pegasus, you may leave now. We're done with our questions!

Pegasus and Sephiroth: (walk out)

Yoh: NOW IT'S BASHING TIME!

17: YAY!

Yoh: Let's bash on Pegasus and Sephiroth!

17: They both have semen white hair! XD

Yoh: Pegasus sounds to be pretty full of himself. Or is it he's too wrapped up in a relationship?

17: both!

Yoh: I agree. It's like it's gone to his head!

17: it's already been in there, it just took this long to come out.

Yoh: So apart of his head was sleeping?

17: More than apart, try one whole!

Yoh: (laughs) I get it now!

17: I think your brain is sleeping too!

Yoh: Speaking of sleeping…

17: Don't ask cause you know the answer.

Yoh: aw!

Dante: Okay guys close it up!

17: We've had 2 guests if you count me, but don't bother cause I'll be here to catch you next time in Conspiracies! It's me and Yoh here and we're out!

Yoh: Attention readers, if you want to appear on the show or you want someone you want to appear on the show, or if you have questions for anyone on the show, then just read the darned story and then review! We promise to make it funnier, but we need your help out there! PLEASE REVIEW! (cough) those are my words and not of the authoress!

17: It sounds like it!

Dante: And we're off air in 2 minuets!

Yoh: (looks at 17) what you wanna do in two minuets?

17: I dunno…(pauses) you really meant it when you said you'd wanna be…

Yoh: I always say what I mean and mean what I say! (leans forward in his chair)

17: (blushes again) okkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…………ok….

Yoh: So you wanna?

17: Is camera still rolling?

Yoh: I don't care! Anything can happen at ending time!

17: (stares at the floor)

Yoh: (gets up, walks over to 17's seat, grabs 17 and French kisses him)

17: (is kissed) ;

Dante: Do they pay me enough for this? o.O; Naw, I won't quit. Okay peoples, this show is now drawing to a close. And now you ask yourself questions. Who will be on next time? Will Yoh and 17 end up together? Will the next short intermission be better? Who will be the next co-host? 

Find out on the next episode of 'Conspiracies'! Bye, and good day or night or whatever!


	2. Episode 2

Dante: (looks into camera) Hey, we're back for a second episode. Hallelujah! For some reason, our hosts are missing. (whistles) wonder what they could be up to! Let's go find out. I need everyone to just talk and stuff, but don't say anything to me out loud!

Magic TV pops up onstage.

Dante: (gets out his wallet) This is my pal Daxter From the game Jak and Daxter, Jak II, and Jak III and he's gonna film for me. (gives Daxter a stack of cash)

Daxter: OKAY! DADDYO! (takes camera and dashes backstage)

Dante: (onstage standing beside the tv) and now we will see what actually goes on backstage, which you will see often…this is what our host does on his free time…

Daxter: (strays down the hallway recording on the camera)

Dante: What you will see may shock you…so prepare for the worst.

Daxter: (stops dead in his tracks)

Yoh and 17: (in hallway kissing all over one another)

Daxter: (whispers) I'm gonna be sick!

Dante: Just hang in there Daxter…just hang in there! When I say 'now' you reveal yourself to them okay?

Daxter: So when you say wow?

Dante: yes…I mean no…when I say 'now'…

Daxter: when you say pow?

Dante: when I say 'now'!

Daxter: How do we know that you don't do what they're doing…

Dante: Now wait a minuet!

Daxter: (hears 'now' and jumps up) HEY LOVEBIRDS!

Yoh and 17: (see camera and stop dead in their tracks)

17: Turn that goddamn thing off!

Yoh: Yeah! 

Daxter: Did I mention you two are live on the show?

Yoh: ; oh…my…god…

17: , YOU PUT US LIVE ON THE SHOW?

Daxter: Wasn't my idea!

17: Who's was it?

Daxter: Snitches get stitches!

Yoh: At least give us the camera!

Daxter: NUH UH! (runs away)

Yoh: (runs after Daxter)

17: (flies after Daxter)

Daxter: OO humans can fly? (faints)

Yoh: YEAH! WE GOT IT!

Winnie the Pooh: (stumbles over the camera) oh…I do believe I just crushed something!

Dante: NO! NOT THE CAMERA! (eye twitches)

Pikachu: (dead under Winnie the Pooh)

Pooh: (gets up and looks under him) uh oh…I squashed a mouse! (walks away laughing)

17: .; but where did the tape go?

Deepthroat: (from Metal Gear Solid 2) (waves tape and disappears)

Yoh: What are we gonna do now?

17: Well, the camera isn't here…we can continue! 

Yoh: okay!

Dante: (calls) the show already started guys! Get out here!

Yoh and 17: o.o; uh oh… (rush out and into their chairs)

Dante: Ah, my precious camera has been returned to me! (pets camera)

Yoh: (tries to cover hickies) All yall saw nothing backstage okay?

Audience: OKAY!

Yoh: That's out of the way. I'm glad that Anna isn't here! Boy would she be mad at me!

17: Who is this Anna Yoh?

Yoh: Some deranged chick who thinks I'm her husband!

17: Very deranged indeed!

Yoh: Who's our first guest today?

17: Why don't we give a warm welcome to the NT Warrior himself…Megaman!

Megaman: (walks out and takes the newly added 3rd seat) hey yawl!

Yoh: hey Megaman!

Megaman: ; hi!

17: hi Megaman!

Megaman!hola!

17: YAY!

Yoh: I didn't know you knew Spanish Megaman!

Megaman: A lot of people don't know that!

17: Are you fluent?

Megaman: Si, mi hablo espanol muchachos.

Yoh: I didn't understand a word he just said!

17: He said yes, he does speak Spanish.

Yoh: That language sounds cool! Say something else please!

Megaman: (to 17) Yoh es bajo nino y 'el vivo en la carro.

17: (laughs)

Yoh: What's so funny?

17: He said that you're a short boy and you live in a car.

Yoh: Hey! Ryo's friend's car doesn't count does it? C'mon cut me some slack here! I was only looking for Dolby Village! I had to get shelter whenever I could!

Megaman: Can I speak English now?

Yoh: yeah!

Megaman: gracias amigo!

Yoh: (tugs of 17's sleeve) what did he say?

17: He said thank you friend.

Yoh: Where did you learn that?

Megaman: Actually, I never miss an episode of Dora the Explorer.

Yoh: (sweatdrops) Are you serious?

17: wow, now that's dedication…a fan till the end… /\o/\;

Megaman: speaking of fans, who is Daxter?

Dante: o.o;

Yoh: Hey 17, wasn't he that little weasel thingy that taped us about to have se…

17: (covers Yoh's mouth) SSH! Now, yes, that was Daxter. Megaman, why do you ask?

Megaman: (points to a section of the audience)

Fans: DAXTER ROCKS! WE LOVE YOU DAXTER! COME ON OUT FOR US!

Megaman: I accidentally thought he was a carpet rug and stepped on him on my way in. (yells backstage) I'm sorry Daxter!

Daxter: (in a squeaky voice) it's okay…

17: I wonder what's going on back there!

Yoh: Hey Megaman, any crushes?

Megaman: (blushes)…just…Roll…that's it.

Yoh: I KNEW IT! You guys do look like a nice matchup too!

Megaman: Think I have a chance?

17: We'll help you get her when commercial comes okay?

Megaman: How you gonna do that?

Yoh: We work magic here!

Harry Potter: Like me?

17: SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET OUT POTHEAD!

Draco Malfoy: (points at Dante) Look Harry, its Voldemort!

Dante: What did they call me? (gets up)

17: o.o; uh oh…he's off his post…I sense trouble.

Harry: (screams, runs in a circle, and crashes into Marik backstage)

Marik: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? YOU DARE BUMP INTO ME?

Dante: W-WHAT DID HE CALL ME?

Yoh: Oh crap! The cameraman is gonna murder him!

Malfoy: YEAH RIGHT! What's this bloke going to do to me! (takes wand out)

Daxter: (runs from backstage fast) THAT GUY IS CRAZY!

Megaman: Who is? Daxter?

Daxter: (points to the curtain)

All: (look towards the curtain)

Harry Potter: (runs out screaming)

Marik: (comes out swinging the millennium rod in random directions) GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE FUCK!

Harry: (runs behind Yoh) HIDE ME!

17: Sorry but he can't do that!

Megaman: ' oh my god…

Malfoy: Where did he come from?

Dante: He was the next guest! Dammit! Why'd he go crazy now of all times?

Marik: YOU FOOLS! NOW YOU WILL ALL FUCKING DIE!

Yoh: I DON'T THINK SO! (stands up)

17: (stands up)

Dante: DAXTER! Take the camera for me! (jumps onto the stage)

Daxter: (jumps off the stage and to Dante's post)

Dante: YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOU LITTLE INGRATE! (walks towards Malfoy)

Marik: YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT YOU LITTLE INGRATE! (walks towards Harry)

Malfoy: RUN!

Harry: (runs)

Yoh: (grabs Harry by the shoulder tightly)

17: (grabs Malfoy by the shoulder tightly)

Malfoy: TT What did I do to deserve this?

Megaman: Dude, you never ever disrespect the cameraman, hear me? NEVER DISRESPECT THE CAMERAMAN! THAT'S A LESSON IN LIFE!

Dante: He got that right! Kid, you're life is over (pulls out Ebony and Ivory) these are my favorite guns…(puts ebony away) but I only need one puny bullet to pierce your brain.

Megaman: Hold on! Since when did this show get so violent?

Marik: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

Harry: (looks up at Yoh) SAVE ME!

Yoh: Well, it looks like we're gonna end up saving someone in the end! Megaman some help?

Megaman: OKAY! (stands up and gets between 17 and Yoh)

Marik: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GIVE ME THE LITTLE BASTARD!

Harry: (cries)

Yoh: We can't let you just hurt him like that now can we?

Marik: YES YOU CAN!

17: Let's solve this another way you guys!

All: (look at 17)

Daxter: (zooms in on 17)

17: All of those that say that these boys should suffer get on that side of the stage! (points to the other side)

Marik: (walks over to the other side)

Dante: (walks over to the other side)

Megaman: Well, I only say that that kid Malfoy suffers, not Harry. (walks to other side)

Yoh: I'm with Megaman! (walks to other side)

17: (walks over to other side) Now, Malfoy…please stand in front of us!

Malfoy: (obeys and sniffles) What are you gonna do?

Daxter: (shouts out) Sphere Battle!

Megaman, Marik, Yoh, 17, and Dante: (get into a FF10 style sphere battle with Malfoy)

A/N-FF10 or FFX stands for Final Fantasy 10.

Daxter: Now this is entertainment! (chuckles)

Yoh: (uses Celestial Slash)

Malfoy: x-x

Marik: (smacks him with the senen rod)

Megaman: MEGA BLASTERS!

17: (sends a Kai-blast)

Dante: (shoots him with Ivory)

Malfoy: (dies)

Final Fantasy battle win music plays out of nowhere!

All: o.o'

Audience: (shouts and cheers)

Fangirls: WE LOVE YOU DAXTER!

Daxter: (throws autographs into the audience) And Daxter loves you too! . (blows kisses at all his fans in the audience)

Fangirls: (scream, shriek, hoot, and faint)

Audience: O-o; they're acting…uh….civilized…

Random Fangirl: (stand up and shouts) I LOVE YOU MARIK!

All: O.O;

Marik: GOOD! Now I have a loyal fan out there! Come down here my pretty!

Random Fan: Me? (runs down and jumps on the stage) YAY!

Marik: YEAH! (spins around and gives a thumbs up) I GOT A GIRL!

Yoh: Doesn't Ash from Pokemon do that everytime he gets a badge?

Marik: Who cares if Ash does it! (does it again) I GOT A GIRL!

Marik Fangirl: YAY! (gives Marik a big hug and a kiss) I GOT A MARIK!

Marik: (does it again) I GOT A HUG AND A KISS! YAY! 

17: And now we have to take you down Marik! You still can't get Harry!

Marik: WHY NOT?

Dante: Can I get Harry then? I already killed Malfoy.

Megaman: NO!

Yoh: (helps Harry get backstage) You'll be okay little boy. Go run to your parents now!

Harry: But they're dead!

Yoh: EVEN WORSE! (storms back out with Harry following) MARIK! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THIS BOY'S PARENTS?

Marik: I'VE DONE NOTHING!

Marik Fangirl: HE'S DONE NOTHING!

Yoh: o.o; do I know you lady?

Marik Fangirl: NO!

Yoh: You look familiar!

Marik Fangirl: NO I DON'T!

Yoh: wait a minuet…I KNOW YOU!

Dante: JUST LET ME KILL EM!

Harry: PROTECT ME!

Marik: (looks at his fangirl) hey, I think I know you too! Weren't you on Tenchi Muyo?

Fangirl: NO!

Marik: It doesn't matter! YOU LOOK HOT! AND YOU LOVE ME! YOU ROCK!

Fangirl: YAY! I ROCK!

17: Are you from Teen Titans?

Fangirl: HEAVENS NO!

Megaman: What about Blues Clues?

Fangirl: --; Is that your real guess or are you just being stupid?

Megaman: --'guess not!

Dante: I know you! I saw you on Cardcaptor Sakura!

Fangirl: (sweatdrops)

Dante: Are you that annoying girl that likes Li?

Fangirl: NO!

Dante: Are you Madison or Sakura?

Fangirl: NO! 

Marik: Let me get a good look at you! (looks at Fangirl)

Yoh: (snaps his fingers) I NOW KNOW! You were on .hack/sign!

Fangirl: CORRECT! I mean…teehehe! ;

Marik: It doesn't matter! YOU ROCK! Come on backstage with me!

Fangirl: OK! YAY! (follows Marik backstage)

Harry: I don't even wanna know what they're doing back there! At least he forgot to kill me!

Dante: BUT I DIDN'T!

Harry: But I didn't do anything to you! OO

Dante: You believed Malfoy when he called me Voldemort! So, I take offense to that!

Harry: (gulps and runs)

Megaman: Will my interview ever end at this rate? OO

Daxter: Ladies and gentlemen! This show must end sad to say! But when we come on again, you will see the conclusion to this ghastly crisis! As for me, I've gotta get back to Jak! Don't worry, on the next episode, the questions will be answered! Please review!


	3. Episode 3

Ash Ketchum: Last time on this show, there was a big thing going on! Who remembers?

Audience: ….

Ash: Hello? Am I here by myself?

Audience: (stays silent)

Daxter: (comes out)

Audience: (cheers and claps and hoots and whistles)

Daxter: Ash dude, you gotta know how to move the audience!

Ash: (gives up and walks off the set)

Daxter: Yall remember what happened last time? Those kids from Harry Potter showed up as well as me and that fangirl who's still making out with Marik in the back right now! And I got Yoh and 17 all kissy kissy on tape for Dante…

Yoh: SO THAT'S WHO PAID YOU!

Daxter: (ears plop down) you didn't hear that from me!

Dante: DAXTER YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL!

Jak: DAXTER!

Megaman: (shakes his head) So it was the cameraman all along…

17: So Dante paid Daxter to spy on us?

Daxter: DID I SAY DANTE? I MEANT WHINNE THE POOH!

Pooh: (rummaging through a pot of honey) oh botha!

17 and Yoh: SO IT WAS THE BEAR! JUST LIKE WE SUSPECTED!

Megaman: ; (whispers to Dante) How dumb are the hosts?

Dante: In another life, they were lesbian blondes.

Megaman: You think so? How about they're already blonde and died their hair? It explains how they could fall for that! And now Pooh bear is gonna get ripped to shreds cause of Daxter.

Daxter: (dives into the audience)

Audience: (holds Daxter up and brings him over to his fangirls)

Fangirls: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Daxter: YAY! I HAVE SO MANY FANS!

Fangirls: WE LOVE YOU DAXTER!

Yoh: Amidimaru! Into the sword!

Amidimaru: RIGHT YOH!

17: I don't need a ghost to attack this dumbass bear! (shoots a kai-blast)

Pooh: (gets hit) AW SHIT!

17: (blasts more kai beams at Pooh) Y-O-H- A-S-A-K-U-R-A! ATTACK!

Yoh: CELESTIAL SLASH! (slashes Winnie the Pooh)

Pooh: (dies)

Yoh: Good job Amidimaru!

17: (walks over to Yoh and touches his shoulder) you did good!

Yoh: thanks! You too with those blasts!

17: Hey Dante, is the camera still going?

Megaman: What about my hook up with Roll?

Dante: I think that we need to go for a commercial break! ;

Daxter: (getting fed and air conditioned by fangirls)

Yoh: YAY!

Dante: And now…here's the commercial break!

Commercial Break  
Commercial One

Big Booming Voice: What show is too big for your tv? WHY It's Mucha Lucha Gigante!

Ricochet: It's crowded in here!

Buena Girl: This is not buena!

The Flea: Someone stepped on my spleen! X-x

Commercial Two

Kids at a birthday party are playing……………………

Mother: Here's the piñata!

Birthday Girl: YAY! (hits the pinata with a bat) OOH! Juicyfruit!

Pinata: (comes to life and runs after the kids)

Birthday Girl: (gets on a table screaming and hollering at the top of her lungs)

Pinata: (takes the juicyfruit from the girl and starts to leave)

Birthday Girl: (beats pinata senselessly) NO ONE TAKES MY JUICYFRUIT!

Commercial Three

Yoh: Wanna be on 'Conspiracies'?

17: Well here's your chance! Just read the episodes and review right after!

Dante: Tell a little bit about yourself and how you would like to look, act, etc. on the show and we can make it happen!

Daxter: AND I ROCK BIG TIME!

Jak: (drags Daxter out)

Neo: Only you can be apart of the Matrix!

END OF COMMERCIALS

Dante: Didn't I look handsome on that commercial?

Audience: HELL YEAH! (whistles, cheers, and claps loudly)

Random woman: I LOVE YOU DANTE!

Dante: (squints) Trish? Is that you?

Lady: NO! It's Lucia!

Trish: I LOVE YOU TOO DANTE!

Dante: Shit…

Megaman: I'm scared of what I might see!

Fangirl: Fine! Boys! Then I'll be the one to find them! (goes into a room) O.O

Yoh and 17: (look up) GET OUT!

Fangirl: Hey you guys! You have a show to do!

17: Is the crowd getting restless?

Fangirl: Well no…

Yoh: Can't you see we're busy?

Fangirl: I can't even see what you're doing! . It's dark in here and I'm getting a wedgie!

Yoh: We're getting business done ok?

Fangirl: Yeah right! Let me see then!

17: For the caution of your eyes, I don't think you…

Fangirl: I WANNA SEE! (runs over to them)

Outside the door…

Marik: What do you think they're doing?

Megaman: Well Dante told me that they couldn't wait till commercial so they can go backstage and screw each others brains out senselessly!

Marik: Didn't need to hear that! Isn't the taller guy an android?

Megaman: O.O

Marik: O.O

Megaman: I am now scared…

Marik: I'm scared for my fangirl!

Megaman: You still never learned her name yet?

Marik: Naw, we were back here having a press conference.

Megaman: Not if you were zipping your pants up dude!

Marik: FINE! We role played a press conference! Are you satisfied now?

Fangirl: (comes out looking ghostly) I found them…

Megaman: and?

Fangirl: They doing something naughty…. OO right now…

Yoh and 17: (walks out of room)

Yoh: We had no idea that commercial was over! Why didn't they play more commercials since we weren't out there?

Megaman: Too set on busting you two for what you are! GAYS!

17: (sweatdrops) it's only a one night stand thing!

Marik: (guides the frightened fangirl away from them and to the chairs onstage)

Megaman: Did you guys ask me all your questions?

Yoh: yep!

Megaman: Ok, adios amigos. Chao muchachos!

17: Bye then Megaman! (waves)

Yoh: What's with you calling it a one night stand thing? We're more than that!

17: Sorry, had to throw them off! And cover your neck please? It's tempting me…

Yoh: How about I go change my shirt?

17: How about I go with you?

Yoh: Naw, you go ahead and question the guests. I won't be long.

Both: (don't notice that they're on more than one camera backstage)

17: (pulls Yoh by the hips into a tongue kiss)

Yoh: (gets tongued and wraps his arms around 17)

Dante: You see audience…this is why we don't have a bed back there, they'd be there all freakin day!

17: (steps out to the stage and takes a seat) now where were we?

Fangirl: (sits on Marik's lap) You're gonna ask my boo some questions!

Marik: (huggles his fangirl)

17: So Marik, ever liked anyone on your own show?

Marik: Naw…the only likeable connection there is to the cards! The people are freakin loco! LUNATICS! CRAZIES!

17: How so?

Marik: Let's get on the smurf formally known as Yugi. He'll jump off a freakin building for his Atemu! It's my yami this and my yami that! And then there's Tea with those stupid lectures of hers! NO ONE LIKES THEM! Then there's Bakura who's a real mental case! Both of them! That's why they're together anyway! Wanna prove that opposites attract? Look at both Bakuras and then you see that the opposites do more than attract! My sister swears that she's all goody goody when she's quick to slap people! That Mai Valentine is such a slut…

17: WOAH DUDE! One at a time! If you want to properly bash on people then make it one at a time!

Yoh: (comes out with his pants on and a matching colored turtle neck) I'm here! (sits next to 17….in the same chair)

Magic tv goes away.

Audience: (claps loudly and hoots)

Yoh: So, who to bash first?

Marik: YUGI!

17: You called him a smurf! You're wrong! I saw him on Teletubbies yesterday.

Audience: (laughs)

Yoh: He's an ant, leave him alone. He's not as nearly as short as my best friend Manta aka Morty anyway!

Marik: Little Yugi has the biggest eyes for someone so damn small! His eyes take up like 80 of his face! He puts Serenity and Mai out of league of the bug eyed contest!

17: What about Rex and Weevil?

Marik: Who? I dunno those losers!

Yoh: What about Kaiba?

Marik: If he isn't a premadonna, a mean girl, and a drama queen all in one! He's the perfect Mrs. Grinch!

Yoh: Why are you referring to Kaiba as female?

Marik: Cause he acts like he's PMSing all the time! He knows that he likes Wheeler, which I think is disgusting! But he won't go for it cause it'll ruin his reputation!

Fangirl: That's my Marik talking for you there!

17: What do you think of Malik?

Marik: He's nothing without me! If I weren't there, there'd be no him!

Fangirl: YEAH!

Yoh: Now is it good to ask you your name little miss Marik lover?

Fangirl: Nunya business! (sticks tongue out at Yoh)

Yoh: (laughs) okay then!

17: Hey Marik, how much do you like this fangirl here?

Marik: (snuggles with the fangirl) I wuv her so much! Yesh I do! I can cuddle her all I want and she's not a groupie! She's so cuddly wuddly! (huggles his fangirl)

Fangirl: AW! (snuggles, huggles, and cuddles back)

Marik: I luv her like a teddy bear! Yesh I do! And I LUV TEDDY BEARS!

Marik and Fangirl: CARE BEARS ROCK!

17 and Yoh: --; okay!

17: So what were you guys doing backstage anyway?

Marik: Making out of course! Just like you!

Yoh: (blushes) No we weren't! We were playing Monopoly!

Dante: (stands up) That's not what we saw! Jak, play the tape!

Jak: (appears along with magic tv. Puts tape in.)

On tape…

Megaman: Ok, adios amigos. Chao muchachos!

17: Bye then Megaman! (waves)

Yoh: What's with you calling it a one night stand thing? We're more than that!

17: Sorry, had to throw them off! And cover your neck please? It's tempting me…

Yoh: How about I go change my shirt?

17: How about I go with you?

Yoh: Naw, you go ahead and question the guests. I won't be long.

17: (grabs Yoh by the hips and pulls him into a deep tongue kiss)

Yoh: (gets tongued and wraps his arms around 17)

Dante: You see audience…this is why we don't have a bed back there, they'd be there all freakin day!

17: (steps out to the stage and takes a seat)

Tape goes off…

Yoh: What do you mean by "we'd be back there all day"?

Audience: (laughs)

Gay section: (cheers excitedly)

Dante: oh, why do we even have a gay section?

Daxter: I dunno, they separated themselves! (runs over to the gay section and cuts a ribbon)

Audience: (mix and blend all together)

Daxter: THAT'S BETTER!

Marik: (looks at Yoh) dude, one look at you told me you were gay! (looks at 17) you I wouldn't expect it!

Dante: It all started on the first episode I tell you! Jak, put on the first tape! You know which!

Jak: (puts another tape in the tv)

On tape…

17: Hey, what do you think about me?

Yoh: If I were gay, I would want to be your lover!

17: really? (blushes)

Yoh: of course!

Tape goes off…

Daxter: WE HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE! They're homos!

Yoh: So can I do this now? (takes 17's hand)

Marik: o.O;

Fangirl: I got no problem as long as I have my Marik-warik!

Marik: AW! (kisses his fangirl)

17: I guess it's cool now that they know!

Yoh: Yeah! The more that know the better! Now we don't have to hide it from the show!

17: (pulls Yoh towards him, hands on Yoh's hips, and kisses him)

Jak: T-T I need outta here man…

Dante: Now all we need is a cat fight…and this episode is complete!

Lucia: TRISH! DANTE IS NOT YOURS!

Trish: OH YES HE IS! FIGHT ME FOR HIM BIATCH!

Lucia: I accept your fight! LETS GO!

Trish and Lucia: (fight in the audience over Dante)

Dante: I feel special! TvT

Marik: YAY!

Marik Fangirl: YAY!

Yoh: YAY!

17: YAY!

Dante: YAY!

Jak: YAY?

Daxter: YAY!

Marik: Why are we all saying yay?

Yoh: I dunno.

17: hey Marik, you got any questions for us?

Marik: It's no doubt you guys like each other a lot…like me and my fangirl!

Fangirl: So, who plays as the lady?

17: There is no lady! And Yoh's the softer one if you know what I mean! .

Yoh: I can be a tough receiver aka taker if I wanted to!

Marik: Can you beat Zeke?

Yoh: I don't know yet! I've never fought him yet!

Fangirl: What if we brought Zeke out now?

17: Whose show is this now?

Yoh: It's our show! Now, it wouldn't be good to bring my ancestor out. He'd get mad at me for being soft. He's like a boot camp all in one! T-T He'll hit me in a sensitive spot!

17: (huggles Yoh and brings him closer) I'll protect you Yoh!

Yoh: (sitting opposite on the chair and facing 17) YAY! Can you protect me from Anna?

17: I'll bet I can!

Yoh: Be careful, she can get anyone to do anything! -

17: She doesn't scare me!

Dante: They should change the name of this show!

Lucia and Trish: (still fighting)

Marik: O.O I think they've been fighting for four minuets!

Daxter: Chick fights are wassup!

Jak: This is so random! The show should be called Random! No one speaks conspiracies on this show at all!

Yoh: But we will! Later though!

Dante: I think I saw a rip in Trish's fishnet stockings!

Audience: OOH! (watch catfight)

Yoh: The show has gone on too long already! We're over our time!

17: Yeah! We've got to end it!

Marik and Fangirl: (wave into the camera) bye bye!

Yoh: (looks into camera) hey guys out there, on the next episode we'll we really start to talk conspiracy talk like we should have from episode one! How many couples are there in here really? And what do you think is gonna happen if I invite Zeke on the show? Oh yeah and we've got a brand new guests next episode. (turns back to 17 and licks his neck)

17: So say your byes to Marik whose taking his fangirl home with him, Jak, Daxter, Harry Potter who has been hiding under the 3rd chair this entire time, Draco Malfoy who is still laying on the floor dead, Ash Ketchum who went deaf and mute since the crowd didn't like him earlier, and the spirit of Winnie the Pooh that said it's gonna haunt this place until it destroys it. Yeah right!

Audience: Bye guests! (wave at all the guests)

Guests: (say bye and take their leave, Marik carrying his fangirl bride-style out the door)

Dante: So what now?

17: (stands up, lays Yoh down on the chair, and they make out)

Dante: DON'T DO THAT TO THE POOR AUDIENCE! AND ME…!

Neo: (breaks up the Trish and Lucia fight) See you all next time! BREAK IT UP! Ah yes, if you have any questions you want to submit, the next guests will be Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho and Sakura from Cardcaptors as well as our regular insanity!

Dante: (turns camera off) I've seen way too much for a full day's worth! I need a break!

Big Booming Voice: Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, there will be more episodes of this show to come! And now, if you have any questions or comments, just freakin reivew! Ah yes, also, if you would like to guest star on the show, just review!

Yoh: (turns camera back on) I came up with a new thingy! We'll tell you who's on the next episode so that you can come up with your questions for when you review!

17: Next time on your show will be Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho and Sakura from Cardcaptors as well as other people who shouldn't be there and lots of drama.

Dante: (turns camera off) Am I getting too old for this? OO


	4. Episode 4

Yoh (looking at camera): Last time you were here, you found out a lot of things that you shouldn't have!

17: Like the fact that Yoh and I are now lovers off and on the set!

Yoh: We also found out how things are from Marik's view and we found out that Megaman speaks Spanish from watching lots of Dora the Explorer!

17: Aren't you glad that on this episode, we're not gonna have sex?

Yoh: But I like our sex 17! O.O

17: I do too, but we have to think about the viewers' safety!

Yoh: You're right. Oh yes, just after the last episode Dante went out and found himself a back up cameraman! Dante went on a small vacation. Now ladies and gentlemen meet our co-cameraman from Final Fantasy 10 and in the perfect ending in 10-2! It's Tidus!

Fangirls: (screams) WE LOVE YOU TIDUS!

Tidus: (waves at the audience)

Audience: YAY!

Tidus: YOU LOVE ME! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!

Yoh: Tidus was supposed to be one of today's guests, but we were able to get another guest. We can still ask Tidus questions though.

17: Yoh…please stop that…

Yoh: (takes hand of 17's lap) aw…I was having a little fun!

17: For the good of the viewers, we'll save our raging hormones until the end of today.

Yoh: AW! Does it have to be the end?

17: yes!

Yoh: (pouts)

17: Now, we'll call our first guest and then we're really gonna start talking conspiracy! Please give a welcome round of applause for…Yoh…cut it out!

Yoh: (takes hand off 17's back)

17: Yoh…later! Save the touching for later!

Yoh: But I can't help it! --'

17: You're making me wanna go onto your chair and you know what!

Yoh: AW! Come at me daddy! 

17: Later Yoh! Anyway…please give a round of applause for our guest…that fox demon known as Kurama!

Fangirls: (shout, scream louder than ever, and more girls faint than last time)

Audience: (scream and shout and whistle and clap loud as ever)

Kurama: (walks out and takes a seat while waving at the audience)

Random Fan: OMG HE WAVED AT ME! (stabs self and dies)

Yoh, 17, Kurama: . oh my god…

Yoh: Hey Kurama! Good to have you on the show man!

Kurama: Why thank you for inviting me. And now we will an unexpected tape that's supposed to parody when I came on this show. I don't know who made it, but they will pay…you be the judge! 

Tape goes on…

Fake 17: First, what everyone out there would like to know is this…are you gay or straight?

Fake Kurama: (blushes) can we skip that question?

Fake Yoh: naw man, you've gotta answer it! And honestly!

Kurama: (takes a deep breath) I'd rather not display that information to the public!

Tidus: Worried that it would crush the hearts of your fangirls?

Kurama: um…well….

Yoh: Now how about we give you yes or no questions?

17: (takes out a box) we give you the yes or no questions and you just answer. First, put this on!

Kurama: Well, what is it?

Yoh: We do this to guests that don't want to answer a question cooperatively. It's a watch and you put it on like this. (puts on one of the watches)

17: (puts on a watch) to make you comfortable, we'll put some on too.

Kurama: (puts on a watch) So what does it do?

Yoh: It's a lie detector test. If you lie, then it will make a loud buzzing sound as it sends 2000 volts through your body!

Kurama: WHAT? X-X that's insane!

17: We thought so too, so we lowered the volts to 1250!

Kurama: So a shock everytime I lie?

Yoh: yep!

17: Now, I will ask again, and remember audience, a lie means that you hear a gigantic buzzing sound coming from the watch! Kurama, are you male?

Kurama: O.o; yes! (watch is silent)

Yoh: Are you homosexual?

Kurama: Can I still not answer?

17: If you don't answer within a time limit, it'll shock you with double of what we set it at.

Kurama: Fine! NO! (buzzer buzzes loudly)

Gay fanguys: (hoot and whistle and cheer and jump up)

Kurama: .

Tidus: The watch doesn't lie!

Kurama: I guess not…

17: Now, Kurama…do you have a crush on someone on your team?

Kurama: yes.

Yoh: He's starting to answer honestly! YAY! I knew he'd lie about most of his answers!

Kurama: (raises a brow) what's that supposed to mean?

Yoh: NOTHING!

17: Kurama, have you ever dated any of your teammates?

Kurama: no… (buzzer sounds)

17: It's a lie!

Yoh: Just tell us who it is and get it over with please. (grins at Kurama)

Kurama: Well, I've actually dated two of my fellow workers. I've dated Yusuke and Hiei.

Yoh: Oh, hey audience, it's two for one day! 

Audience: (laughs)

Kurama: (blushes)

17: So, did you end up getting them both in your bedroom?

Kurama: NO! (buzzer sounds)

Yoh: wow, this is working along good. Just be honest Kurama and you won't get shocked at all!

Kurama: But I don't want people knowing my business!

Tidus: Are you sure that you're on the right show dude?

Kurama: yes I am sure! I just didn't know what to expect!

17: Didn't you watch the last episodes of this show?

Kurama: No. --; sadly I missed them all.

Yoh: WHAT? Now that isn't right!

Kurama: I agree now. Any more questions?

17: Which boyfriend did you like more?

Kurama: (sighs) Hiei.

Yoh: Are you going with anyone currently?

Kurama: Hiei now. Yusuke and I were over 2 months ago.

17: What made the breakup?

Kurama: He liked Keiko more than me. So we split so he could be with Keiko.

Yoh: I see. Well, you are being very truthful. I give you that.

Kurama: Can you please stop asking me such personal questions?

17: I'm sorry but when you came out, it gave us the urge to eat you alive with questions!

Tidus: THAT'S RIGHT!

Yoh: (whispers to 17) is it me or Tidus is starting to get annoying?

17: He is… (gives Tidus a glance)

Kurama: Excuse me? What are you two talking about?

Yoh: I have a question for you Kurama!

Kurama: Ask away then.

Yoh: If I were to tell you that the both of us were homo, would that excite you?

Kurama: No. (buzzer sounds)

17: dude, you are one of the best people I know of and you're so…

Kurama: I never said I was proud now did I?

Yoh: Well are you?

Kurama: It is good to be with Hiei. He may be short but he makes up for it in other places!

Tidus: There we go! Softy is starting to warm up to us all!

Kurama: Now was that necessary Tidus?

Tidus: What? The camera guy can't express his opinions?

All: NO!

Tidus: Yall discriminating!

17: Can you spell discriminating?

Tidus: Well no but who cares? I'm a big Blitzball star!

Yoh: (whispers in Kurama's ear)

Kurama: (giggles) ok!

17: Did I miss something? (raises a brow)

Yoh: I'll tell you later 17!

17: I wanna know what I missed!

Yoh: AW! Look at us! Without our randomness, this show sucks! WHERE'S THE RANDOMNESS? WE NEED YOU RANDOMNESS!

Kurama: (whispers to 17)

17: Oh sure!

Yoh: T-T No randomness sucks big time!

Kurama: I see what you mean, and you've been asking me those personal questions to spice up things on your show. But audience looks kinda bored.

Audience: (trying not to go to sleep)

17: even I'm bored!

Yoh: But how can we spice things up so it won't be boring?

Kurama: (goes over to Yoh's chair and kisses Yoh)

Audience: (re-interested) ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………………..

17: Wait a minuet…(pulls Kurama off) Yoh is my man! Leave him alone!

Yoh: (blushes)

Kurama: Had to spice things up ya know what I'm saying?

17: NO I DON'T! But what I do know is that I'll kick your ass if you come near my man again! What about yours?

Kurama: I like my Hiei, but I was just trying to help you guys out.

Tidus: OH OH! HAVE A 3 WAY!

All: (look at Tidus)

Random person: DUDE! SHUT UP!

Fangirl: DON'T TELL HIM TO SHUT UP! YOU SHUT UP!

Fight breaks out in audience.

Kurama, Yoh, 17: O.O'

Tape goes off…

Kurama: That look alike really didn't do it for me. 

17: This is what happens people when you get look a-likes and leave out randomness in our show!

Yoh: All that boring stuff was just a tape full of look a-likes and our show if it were boring!

Kurama: Well, I'll tell you one thing, what was on that tape wasn't true at all.

17: Are you sure?

Kurama: -.- don't go there!

Daxter: C'mon! Ain't no way I'm leavin this place!

Tidus: Daxter?

Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Fangirls: OMG! DAXTER CAME BACK TO US!

Daxter: I came back for my girls! (dives into audience)

Fangirls: (hoot and cheer and carry Daxter to a corner)

Tidus: o.o;

Yoh: Hey Tidus, where did Dante go anyway?

Tidus: I'm not saying a thing!

17: (stands up) Are we gonna get to do anything today?

Yoh: (runs up to 17 and kisses him) I saw the tape and got scared! I don't want us to go a day without making out!

Kurama: Please don't! . My eyes couldn't take it if you made out. I'd die scared!

17: (puts hands on Yoh's hips)

Yoh: oh! You like touching me on my hips don't you?

17: I always grabbed you by the hips backstage in that room! Remember yesterday?

Kurama: I'm not hearing this. -

Yoh: oh yeah I remember yesterday!

17: (seductively) Who's your daddy?

Kurama: Did I mention that I brought two special guests of my own here?

Yoh and 17: Who?

Kurama: Well, it wasn't my idea believe me!

Anna: (comes out) WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS YOH ASAKURA?

Kurama: (shrugs) it wasn't me (snickers)

Yoh: (hides behind 17) oh no…it's Anna…

Anna: (walks up to 17) let Yoh come out and face me like a man!

17: He's a queer you deranged bitch! And he's my softy!

Anna: No he isn't! He will be Shaman King and my husband whether he likes it or not!

Kurama: I am truly sorry, but I was possessed by a bear called Winnie the Pooh and I invited her while I was possessed! As well as another special guest!

Anna: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! IT'S BETWEEN YOH AND ME!

17: don't yell at me you car crash bia!

Kurama: What's a car crash bia?

17: A bia that looks like she just came out a car crash! And Anna, with that hair, you have much to get fixed!

Anna: HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY HAIR?

17: No wonder Yoh doesn't like you! You freaking yell at him like he's some little bitch and you're his owner!

Anna: And you yell at me? He is my little bitch thank you!

17: I could treat him better than you can in a million years!

Anna: Let's see then! YOH!

Yoh: (lets out a whimper) DON'T LET HER GET ME 17!

17: I won't! WHAT YOU GONNA DO TO ME LITTLE GIRL?

Anna: For your information, I am a spirit medium! I can kick your ass right now! (takes earrings off)

Kurama: This'll get interesting. ;

17: Yoh, stand back. I'm cooking fried bitch tonight!

Yoh: (runs and hides behind Kurama)

Kurama: Oh my…why are you?

Yoh: She's evil beyond your knowing!

Kurama: It doesn't look in anyone's favor. I can't believe they're gonna fight in here!

Daxter: NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT! The chick fighting the gay dude!

Tidus: (zooms in) They look fierce! This should rank up way more viewers! It's a love triangle between two men and a manly lady!

Anna: YOU CALLIN ME A MANLY LADY!

Tidus: . Sheesh! Be glad I'm even calling you a female!

Kurama: I'm not taking sides but Yoh, if you need shelter then I guess that I am here…

Yoh: (hugs Kurama) OH THANK YOU!

Hiei: (jumps in out of nowhere) Kurama, who is that human hugging you?

Kurama: ' Hiei, where did you come from?

Hiei: To get rid of this tape.

Kurama: What tape?

Hiei: the one they just showed. It makes me look bad even when it's not true! And that human is still on you!

Kurama: Yoh…Yoh please let go of my waist!

Yoh: NO! (sobs)

Kurama: I need you to let go of my waist for me please.

Hiei: Well? Can you cut him off?

Kurama: Excuse you Hiei! Don't you have a tape to get rid of?

Hiei: (holds up a broken tape) already done! Now let's go!

Kurama: I'm a guest on this show! I can't just leave like that! Since when did you become my boss?

Hiei: boss? . I still don't get all that ningen language! 

Kurama: Since when did you become my owner? 

Hiei: I just want to talk!

Random Demon: GO FOR IT KURAMA! HE COULD BE YOUR MAN!

Audience: GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT!

Kurama: The tape made me look homo, but I actually am not!

Fangirls: (scream with relief) K-U-R-A-M-A! KURAMA! WE LOVE YOU!

Kurama: o.o; they're back already?

Hiei: I just want to talk about something! Get that ningen off you!

Yoh: (sobbing)

Tidus: Things are getting heated in here! We have our guest trying to get dragged off the set for a talk and a fight over the original host going on! What next?

Homer Simpson: (falls in from the ceiling)

Daxter: damn…he fell hard!

Neo: (runs out of nowhere and tackles Anna)

Anna: XX AH!

17: Almost forgot that my head of security is Neo! From the Matrix! THAT'S RIGHT BIA! HE'S THE ONE! YOU CAN'T BEAT THE ONE! YOH IS MINE! (walks over to Kurama, bends down, and strokes Yoh's hair) Yoh, its okay!

Yoh: 17?

17: That nasty broad is gone!

Yoh: (gives 17 a big hug)

Hiei: It's about time. Baka ningens…

Kurama: Hiei, I will not conversate with you if you keep that attitude! (grabs Hiei's arm)

Hiei: WHAT ARE YOU DOING KURAMA?

Kurama: (drags Hiei out) you will get a lesson in manners if it's the last thing I do!

Neo: (kicks Anna out)

Anna: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!

17: Where did Kurama go?

Tidus: Out with Hiei of course! o To teach him manners!

Yoh: Who was the other person that was unexpectedly invited?

Barney: (comes out) there you are! (spots Yoh) I've been looking all over for you! BITCH!

Yoh: (hides behind 17 again) he's another evil one! 

Barney: (looks at 17) now what did the cat drag in today?

17: (looks at Barney) now look what the cat shitted out today!

Barney: Just hand Yoh over and we won't have any problems!

17: Can't do that! And I came with backup just incase you came around! YO DAXTER!

Daxter: ONE STEP AHEAD OF YA! OH JAK!

Dark/Evil Jak: (comes running out ready to tear something apart)

Daxter: All ya gotta do is smack him will bologna and he'll go evil! NOW SEEK ZEKE JAK!

Evil Jak: (pounces after Barney)

Barney: XX IT'S A DANGEROUS BLUE AND GRAY POSSESSED THINGY!

Tidus: (throws a blitzball at Barney's head)

Barney: (gets hit) AH FUCK YOU BALL BOY! I'M GETTING BABY BOP ON YALL MOTHER FUCKERS UP IN THIS PIECE!

Voices: Not if we can help it!

Yoh: (looks up) Its Trey and Lenny!

Trey and Lenny: (jump down)

Trey: Cory! INTO THE SNOWBOARD!

Lenny: And again I'm ahead of you Trey! RAPID TEMPLE ASSAULT!

17: (attacks Barney)

Trey: I'm going in for that dive! YAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Barney: (gets hit by all the attacks and dies) XX One…last…thing…I…screwed…all…your…mothers…last…night…

Yoh: (hugs 17 again) yay! You did it!

17: YAY! (spits on Barney) Stupid ass faggot dinosaur!

Trey: Wat up Yoh?

Yoh: Hey guys? What are you doing here?

Lenny: We watch the show and we want in your plot.

Yoh: HUH?

Trey: We wanna be apart of the show man! It totally rocks!

Lenny: Besides, what if your boyfriend got tired of watching your back of Anna?

17: I'll never get tired of protecting my Yoh! (huggles Yoh)

Trey: Yoh, this is a side of you even I didn't think you had. Dude, if you were gay, you didn't have to keep it a secret and then post it on live tv all of the sudden!

Lenny: No you dultz! He didn't turn gay until he got on the show! Didn't you see the first through third episodes?

Tidus: I'm confused! 

Daxter: (gets Evil Jak backstage on a leash)

Yoh: How you guys doing?

Trey: Hey dude, if you can say anything aloud on this show and not care, know Yoh that Lenny and me are an item!

Kurama: (walks back in and takes a seat) who are these people? Why is Barney laying dead on the floor? O.o What did I miss?

17: (takes a seat) let me fill you in while they talk…(chats with Kurama)

Yoh: Lenny, is it true? When did it happen? WHY?

Lenny: Ryo doesn't exactly fit anyone's interest or category in a relationship.

Trey: Besides…check this out! (stands next to Lenny) Don't we look like a cute couple?

Kurama: And I missed all of that how? O.o

17: Well, what were you doing while you were gone?

Kurama: stuff! ;

17: uh huh! Well, let's see if we got you on tape!

Tidus: We don't!

17: Darnit!

Kurama: (grins) you think I would fall for that really? What were you thinking?

17: Hey Yoh?

Yoh: hm?

Kurama: Please introduce us to your friends.

Yoh: Hey 17, Kurama, Daxter, Tidus, this is Horo Horo a.k.a Trey and this is Ren a.k.a Lenny or just Lenne or Lynn for short.

Kurama: nice to meet you both! . Trey and Lenny!

Trey: pleasures all mine!

Daxter: Wait until I tell Dante that this place is now crawling with fags! 

Tidus: Are we even gonna go for commercial?

Yoh: Everyone please take a seat!

All: (take a seat)

Lenny and Trey: (sitting together)

Yoh and 17: (sitting together)

Kurama: (sitting by himself)

Yoh: aw, you don't have to be lonely like this Kurama! You could squeeze onto one of our chairs!

Kurama: No thank you. Great offer, but no thank you.

Daxter: What now?

Kurama: I think I take my leave and the next guest comes right?

Yoh: Aw! Don't go! You can stay as long as you want!

Kurama: This chair is very comfortable! 

Trey: okay, so now we all met…what now?

Yoh: The show must go on! And here's our next guest! You all know her…

Android 18: (walks out of nowhere)

Yoh: oo that wasn't the guest!

18: Hey there 17! Remember me?

17: (ignores 18)

18: Hey c'mon tiger! I'm not the only one here!

Android 16: (walks out)

Yoh: Where are they coming from?

Lenny: Beats me!

Trey: I sense trouble cooking!

Daxter: OH NO! That's my marshmallows burning! FANGIRLS OPERATION "MOVE THE MARSHMELLOWS"!

Fangirls: (burn marshmallows in a bonfire they made near the audience)

Neo: (runs out with fire extinguisher and sprays the fire down)

Daxter: AW!

Tidus: This is some crazy…

Daxter: You're telling me! First fags and now my fire is out! What's next?

Homer Simpson: (drops from the ceiling)

All: o.O; didn't that happen already?

Neo: There's a glitch in the Matrix! I must go! (disappears)

18: What you doing on this lame show? We could go back to killing the humans again like before!

16: I only want Son Goku!

17: naw, go ahead without me. Not interested you backstabber! 

Kurama: Peer pressure is such a shame these days.

16: I leave now! (flies through the whole in the ceiling Homer Simpson made)

Yoh: (tugs on 17's sleeve) 17, who is she to you?

17: She's a nobody!

18: I'M NO NOBODY!

Daxter: (coughs) slut…

17: Go back to Krillin or whatever!

18: Divorced!

17: And Maron…

18: in father's custody!

17: o.o; anything I missed?

18: I want us again!

17: There was no us! GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!

Kurama: I sense one that swung on poles for money not too long ago!

18: SHUT UP!

Kurama: Oh no she didn't!

Hiei: (appears next to Kurama's chair)

Kurama: Where did you come from?

Hiei: Just ran over.

Tidus: Hey! We're gonna go to commercial now! Even though a fight's gonna break out more than likely!

18: (reaches)

Yoh: (smacks 18's hand) AWAY! 

18: And who are you?

Yoh: He's apart of this show now! THE FAMILY! And most importantly, he's mine to claim!

18: Let's see!

17: . Yoh…don't….

Yoh: I know what I'm doing!

Trey: Anyone that challenges Yoh…

Yoh: Trey, Lenny, I got this one!

18: Oh great…the peanut gallery has just discovered walnuts!

Tidus: I LIKE WALNUTS!

All: Oo?

Tidus: I'll shut up now! v'

Yoh: Let's go then plastic!

18: You're calling me a plastic? You're the transvestite here!

Yoh: No, I'm afraid that telling us more about yourself would be a bad idea!

18: (growls)

Yoh: Oh you vicious animal!

17: (sweatdrops)

Hiei: --; Kurama, what is this?

Kurama: (gets an idea) Hiei! This is a miniature tournament! All you have to do is beat that man right there and you win! (points at 18)

Hiei: Isn't that a woman?

Kurama: Ah my Hiei! Looks may be deceiving! He wants you to think he is a she! He's what the ningens call a cross-desser!

Hiei: HE DISGRACES THE MALE GENDER! I'LL KICK HIS ASS! (goes up to 18)

18: And shorty wants a piece of me too?

Hiei: (draws his sword)

Yoh: (draws sword) I have enough furioku to finish her off! Amidimaru! Into the sword!

Amidimaru: T-T They were fine until they went on this show!

Yoh: FINE? Do you know what hell Anna caused?

Amidmaru: (thinks) ON SECOND THOUGHT! Let's KICK ASS!

18: Oh, two swords, so scary! Don't you know that you don't attack a helpless woman! Especially unarmed?

Hiei: (points) I know what you are! A disgrace!

Yoh: You're not a lady with ankles like that!

18: M…MY ANKLES?

Kurama: And you have a moustache! My word!

18: NO I DON'T! I SHAVED!

Tidus and Daxter: AND WE SAVED MONEY ON OUR CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEIKO! WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

Audience: OO YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Yoh: Well, the audience wants it! So we'll make it happen! (attacks)

Hiei: (attacks)

Kurama: I do believe myself to be very mean to say that!

17: O.O are they gonna live? Her power is…eh…mine!

Trey: I dunno, you look at her shoes and she looks manly!

Lenny: Gross indeed! -

18: x-x 

Yoh: YAY!

Hiei: (leaves) my deed is done! I destroyed a tape and a cross dresser!

Kurama: Isn't he a future…

Daxter: SSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH! KURAMA! YOU'RE SPOLING!

Kurama: (blushes) I'm sorry!

17: can I look now?

Lenny: yes you may!

17: (looks) oh my god!

Yoh: teehehe! She wasn't so tough! (runs and huggles 17)

Tidus: T-T I love happy endings!

Kurama: But the show isn't over yet! They didn't even ask me any questions!

Trey: And I think we need to be guests before we get put on the show! That's how it was for 17!

Tidus: I KNOW! You get to be a guest…then get on…then sleep with the host!

All: ()() How about NO?

Tidus: Shutting up now! (sweatdrops)

Yoh: That'll never happen! ; 17 is special!

17: YAY! I GET TO BE SPECIAL!

Tidus: (cough, mumble, mumble, mumble)

Lenny: What was that Tidus?

Daxter: (coughs) wait until HIM!

Audience: OOH! Who's him?

17: "He" can't get dibs on my Yoh!

Yoh: Of course he can't! I love my 17!

Tidus: ok….

Daxter: Hey, I think Jak's back to normal!

Audience: YAY! JAK!

Jak: (comes out) what am I doing back here?

Daxter: (laughs) well……it's a long story Jak!

Jak: I remember….bologna! (looks at Daxter evilly)

Daxter: tehehehe ; didn't I say it was a long story?

Jak: WHAT HAPPENED?

Kurama: ' I think I should get going! I only hope my mother doesn't watch this show!

17: No way to explain it right?

Kurama: Not really! Especially with a certain tape that someone thought funny to display! (glances at Tidus)

Tidus: WHAT?

Yoh: What is it Tidus?

Tidus: Remember Kurama teaching Hiei manners and them talking?

All: uh huh!

Tidus: ; to make a long story short…they weren't actually talking…

Random fan: I KNEW IT!

Tidus: Kurama knows what he did!

Kurama: (looks at audience) it's not what you think! You don't think that I role that way do you?

Audience: (thinks) YES!

Kurama: -- So much for fans!

Audience: WE STILL LOVE YOU KURAMA!

Kurama: YAY! And they're still loyal even if they think I'm gay! Which I'm not! 

Yoh: Then tell us what you did when you left!

Kurama: (bows head down) fine! I…I ordered pizza!

Trey: IS THAT ALL? We were all thinking that you went F-A-G-A-L-I-C-I-O-U-S on us!

Lenny: What kind of pizza?

Kurama: um…pepperoni and extra cheese!

Tidus: YEAH!

Kurama: I didn't want the audience to go hungry either. I hope you don't mind!

17: OF COURSE WE DON'T! Pizza sounds great!

Trey: But then what was it that Hiei wanted to talk to you about?

Kurama: The pizza toppings! He just gets impatient when it comes to waiting on food.

Lenny: Well, we're sorry, but Trey and I have to leave!

Yoh: Why guys?

Lenny: (takes Trey's arms and pulls him out of the seat)

Trey: OH YEAH! Cause we're gonna be guests later! DUH!

Lenny: Yes, a DUH! On your part! Let's go!

17: no pizza?

Lenny: No thank you! (drags Trey away)

Trey: (waves at audience) SORRY FOR THE WAY TOO EARLY APPEARANCE!

Audience: (waves) IT'S OKAY!

Yoh: Hey, Kurama, I have a question for you!

Kurama: Ask away.

Yoh: If you only ordered pizza, then why keep it secret?

17: ; Did you use your own money to pay for that pizza?

Kurama: (fake coughs) um…I seem to be catching a cold!

Yoh: Don't play like that man! Whose money did you loot?

Kurama: I'd rather not say!

17: Why not?

Kurama: Because they would get mad and make a scene!

Yoh: What is a scene is all the dead bodies on the floor! AKA 18, Homer Simpson, and Barney!

Neo: (comes out with a big dustpan and broom and sweeps up dead bodies)

Yoh: ' Where does he put those?

Kurama: Don't they get cremated?

17: #.# cremated? (tries to picture them going into fire) hm….

Yoh: I wanna get cremated when I die!

17: O.o'

Yoh: Well, I'd like my ashes to be sprayed across a nice peaceful place! Like a beach!

17: I don't care what happens to me when I die cause I wont be alive to worry about it anyway!

Kurama: That's a good point. When I pass, I would like to be remembered positively.

Yoh: I don't see how people can remember bad things about you! I mean, I know about your bad past as Yoko and all that so just make a good reputation for yourself now!

Kurama: That isn't such a bad idea Yoh!

Tidus: PIZZA'S HERE!

17: Why don't we bring out our last guest for today! She's been waiting so long! It's miss Sakura from Cardcaptors!

Audience: YAY!

Sakura: (waves at the audience) Hello everyone! Got any questions for me?

17 and Yoh: From the looks of the audience…they're gonna rip her apart with questions!

Daxter: TT THE PIZZA!

Jak: IS COMING WHEN IT COMES! BE PATIENT!

Tidus: Uh, guys, it's time to end the show!

Pizza Guy: Someone order 200 hundred pies of pizza?

Kurama: That would be me!

Daxter: YAY! IT'S HERE!

Sakura: But what about my questions?

Yoh: (looks to camera) Guys, we're gonna eat the rest of our time! What I need you to do is make up your questions and ask them for the next episode.

17: (kisses Yoh's neck and then looks to camera) Kurama and Sakura will remain on here for the questions that you give. And maybe Dante will be back and then you get to question Tidus.

Tidus: I CAN'T WAIT! SEE YA NEXT TIME!

All: (wave to camera) Bye Bye! SEE YA NEXT EPISODE!


	5. Episode 5

17: All right. We all know of the madness of what happened last show!

Yoh: We killed Android 18 and Barney, Homer Simpson committed suicide and keeps getting back up remarkably, and Kurama ordered us all pizza!

Tidus: And I'm still replacing for Dante as cameraman. Dante had to step out for a just these two episodes.

Audience: (claps and screams)

Tidus: Yes, that's right! Dante's coming back next episode and on the next episode, I will be a guest and you guys get to ask me questions.

Daxter: And it don't matter who comes and goes! I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR MY GIRLS!

Fangirls: (yell and scream out) DAXTER! WE LOVE YOU!

Daxter: (blows kisses to his fangirls)

Random Fangirl: HE BLEW IT AT ME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (runs in circles and jumps out a closed window)

All: OO wtf?

Yoh: Hey 17, are we gonna do anything this episode?

17: Yoh, what did I say? None until camera's off! .

Yoh: (winks) Until camera's off huh? All right…

Kurama: It is sure nice to be here. Now um, I would like to get the questions please.

17: We have to ask Kurama, and be honest! Are you gay?

Kurama: (thinks awhile) I honestly don't know! ; It's a possibility.

Yoh: Would you say that Karasu made that possibility come to life?

Kurama: HECK NO!

Tidus: Hey Kurama, are you sure that there is nothing going on between you and Hiei?

Kurama: We are only best friends! Where do you get "lovers" out of "best friends"? The phrases don't even sound the same!

Yoh: Well, you know! Me and 17 started off as friends! -

Tidus: And now you two just fuck anywhere, anytime!

17: ; um…you could say that…

Yoh: I think I'm going into a blush…tehehe.

Kurama: Honestly, I knew that already and I didn't have to hear it again.

Hiei: O.o; I am not hearing this correct am I? (tugs on Kurama's sleeve) Kurama, I think there's something wrong with my ears!

Kurama: Here Hiei, lay yourself across my lap and I will check your ears for you! -

Hiei: (obeys)

Yoh: Oh? o.o;

Kurama: (leans over and looks down) I don't see anything wrong.

Hiei: Are you sure? Cause I'm hearing things that I shouldn't! .

Kurama: (nibbles on Hiei's ear playfully, licks the side of his face, and nuzzles)

17, Yoh, & Tidus: OO;

Tidus: AND THAT'S NOT GAY? Then what the hell is gay in your book Kurama?

Kurama: ; oh that? Oh no! Don't take it the wrong way!

Yoh: I would so like to hear you explain your way out that one!

Kurama: Kitsune's do that for others when they have hearing problems. It's a kitsune thing!

17: But Hiei isn't a kitsune!

Kurama: I know, but, hey, it's all that us kitsune's know how to do in those situations! (shrugs) It's not a gay thing! Female kitsune's do that with their children all the time.

Daxter: And I am the genius to point out Kurama: 1. You are not female. 2. Hiei is not kitsune. 3. Hiei is not a child. 4. You friggin licked him! 5. What you did in the human world is called sexually teasing!

Kurama: - Well it isn't like that at all! I swear things are so different in Makai! Besides, males do that too, just not as often as female kitsunes. 

Hiei: Do I even get a say in this?

All: NO!

Hiei: x-x that's not fair…I was gonna say that his method works!

Tidus: But Hiei, your hearing was perfectly fine all day!

Audience: GASP!

17: So Kurama's straight, it's Hiei that's gay and wants Kurama!

Hiei: NOT TRUE! I was hearing things that aren't there. I…….I heard the Winnie the Pooh ghost and Bloody Mary.

All: XX WHAT THE HELL? Bloody Mary?

Hiei: (waves around) Don't say her name 3 times in front of a mirror!

Sakura: I know that I've been quiet all this time, but I just thought that I should say something. I'm being ignored over here!

17: Sorry Sakura. You could've joined into the conversation anytime though.

Yoh: yep! (latches self closer to 17) 17! Come on! I'm so horny!

Hiei: My hearing has worsened!

Yoh: Oh no it didn't hun! I really said that!

Hiei: Kurama, can we leave now?

Tidus: Yeah dude, I mean, you've been here like for the longest time ever! 

Kurama: (gives a big smile) Well it's time that I should be heading out! But I tell you! When it comes the time for Hiei's interview, I will be back!

Hiei: YAY! (huggles Kurama)

Kurama: YAY! (walks out carrying Hiei)

17: Ok, if that isn't gay, then I'm 100 straight! And I just screw Yoh for fun!

Yoh: GASP! NO 17!

17: Oh no Yoh, no! It was sarcasm! You know I wuv you so much! YESH I DO!

Yoh: yay! 

Sakura: So, eh, who has questions for me then?

Daxter: Have you ever had feelings for your brother Tori?

Sakura: Oo the hell kinda question is that? MY ANSWER IS NO!

Tidus: I had Daxter ask that. Cause you like, live with your brother like that and he's like an "extra-large-jumbo-sized" order of SEXINESS! Ain't I right audience!

Audience: WOOT! HELL YEAH!

Tidus: I mean, you're brother re-rights the book of "Cute" He's on the cover dammit!

Sakura: You see where I get my looks from right?

All: um….no….

Sakura: Now that ain't right! TT I am pretty!

17: You just don't look as good as your brother.

Yoh: Don't cry Sakura! Lee does like you more then that annoying girl always calling after him!

Sakura: (sniff sniff) really?

Daxter: NO DUH! Now go!

17: NOW GO SAKURA! RUN TO LEE!

Sakura: (jumps up and runs off the set)

Yoh: (giggles aloud)

Tidus: 17, did you just make the guest run off set?

Daxter: THE HELL ARE YOU PLANNING!

17: NOTHING!

Yoh: Geez!

Tidus: So Kurama left with Hiei in his arms and Sakura ran out to go confess her feelings for Lee! What are we supposed to do now?

17: Well, we only do two guests per show! Except those people that come out of no where of course!

Yoh: 17, is now the time?

17: No Yoh…

Tidus: Time for what now?

Daxter: I wanna know! (wink) I can keep secrets!

17: Yeah right Daxter!

Daxter: OH WHAT?

Jak: I'm back!

Audience: OMG WE LOVE YOU JAK!

Jak: OH….YEAH!

Kool-Aid: BITCH YOU STOLE MY LINE!

Jak: You wanna piece of me you fucking beverage?

Kool-Aid: OH...YEAH!

Jak: Mother fucker! You can't handle none of this!

Kool-Aid: (tilts his head forward and sprays Kool-Aid at Jak)

Jak: (sidesteps and dodges)

Tidus: OH SHIT! THAT Kool-Aid is NOT coming this way!

17: SHIT! THE CAMERA!

Yoh: TIDUS RUN FOR YOUR LIFE WITH THAT CAMERA!

Tidus: (gets drenched in Kool-Aid as well as the camera)

Daxter: OO OH SHIT! DANTE'S GONNA BE SO PISSED ABOUT HIS CAMERA!

Yoh: (pokes 17) Hey 17, didn't you say that we could "you know what" when the camera was off?

17: oh yeah! I sure did!

Daxter: OH HELL NO! YOU ARE NOT GONNA DO THAT GAY SHIT HERE OF ALL PLACES!

17: (pounces on Yoh)

Yoh: DO ME GOOD DADDYO!

Daxter: OH MY FUCKING GOSH! (dives into his pool of fangirls)

Fangirls: We will serve you Daxter! You are our Emperor!

Daxter: the hell? Why am I not your king?

Fangirls: (think about it) Daxter, you are our god!

Daxter: OH HELL YES!

Jak: TAKE THIS KOOL-AID! (runs after the big ass Kool-Aid pitcher)

Kool-Aid: I'm getting yo ass! Oh….yeah!

Jak: You're getting you ass kicked bro! Oh….yeah!

Kool-Aid: STOP TAKING MY FUCKING LINE YOU PUNK ASS BITCH!

Jak: Lets go then! Fight me!

Kool-Aid: Oh….HELL YEAH!

Daxter: (getting fanned by the fangirls) ahh….WTH is that? (points to a tossed shirt on the ground)

Tidus: (soaked in Kool-Aid and holding the camera) Oh, that's just 17's shirt…

Daxter: (points to the flying clothes) and there goes Yoh's shirt!

Tidus: OOH OOH! I know this one! That's 17 and Yoh's pants!

Daxter: OO OMFG! TIDUS MAKE THEM STOP BEFORE IT GETS WORSE!

Tidus: 17! Yoh! NO NUDE SHIT OUT HERE! THE AUDIENCE IS STILL WATCHING EVEN IF THE CAMERA'S FUCKED UP!

Yoh: (moans) I don't care!

17: OH YEAH! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! BUSY HERE!

Tidus: Yeah, you're doing Yoh obviously! Ever think that no one wants to see that shit?

Daxter: This is what we get for exposing them?

Tidus: TT We have to see this and it's all our fault!

Daxter: DAMNIT! If only Dante were here!

Jak: (covered in Kool-Aid) Bleeding Kool-Aid on me wont stop me from killing your ass Kool-Aid!

Kool-Aid: I'm kicking yo ass! OH….YEAH!

Daxter: I should smack him with bologna again! XD

Yoh: (shouts) OH 17!

Tidus: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR THAT SHIT!

Audience: (eating popcorn and watching the chaos resume) Those bastards at home wont be able to see what we see now! (snicker to themselves)

Random Fan: GO KOOL-AID! KICK JAK'S ASS!

Audience: WTF? (jump the Kool-Aid fan and have them lynched) JAK ROCKS!

Tidus: What a nice audience we have this time around! XX Notice my sarcasm!

Daxter: You are so right Tidus!

17: YOH, WHO'S YOUR ANDROID?

Tidus: (drops the camera) WTF? Do YOU KNOW HOW WRONG THAT SOUNDS?

Daxter: Even worse at how I never knew the chairs could lay back like that.

Tidus: If I would've known that, then I would've got you guys those metal chairs instead of these comfy ones.

Daxter: I am sick of this insane shit... (goes back to fangirls)

Fangirls: YAY!

Audience: W00T!

Random Person: 17! PUT YOURS ALL THE WAY IN! CONQUER THAT SEXY BODY!

All those sane: OO WTF DID THEY JUST SAY?

Yoh: heh! Not a bad idea!

17: (shrugs) ok!

Yoh: yay!

Tidus: Geez, and they say that you can't rape the willing, these fools are too damn willing!

Daxter: We need to end the show now!

Tidus: NO! It's too early! What are we gonna do now? It's not like Yoh and 17 plan on stopping anytime soon! And Jak is fighting Kool-Aid! And I got the camera messed up! Dante's gonna kick my ass for sure! And you're just going to your fangirls all the friggin time Daxter!

Daxter: Don't hate because I have more fangirls than you do!

Tidus: FUCK THIS! I'm playing blitzball.

17: Some privacy would be nice though.

Yoh: Oh! I have it! (whispers to 17)

17: (shoots a kai blast at the lights)

Lights: (go out)

Jak: I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS IN THE DARK KOOL-AID!

Kool-Aid: YEAH…..RIGHT…

Tidus: WTF?

Daxter: That ain't good! It's only halfway good!

Tidus: How is that Daxter?

Daxter: We can't see them thank god! But we can still hear them!

All: (hear a bunch of moaning)

Tidus: This is just sickening!

Daxter: You know Tidus, the lights have back up power. And there's more than one camera in this place. So…erm…all the cameras have got all this bullshit!

Tidus: DAMN! Dante's killing me for sure!

Jak: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Random Person: I'm scared of the dark!

Neo: (runs Martix Style, jumps, and turns on the back up power!)

All: YAY!

17: oh crap! 

Yoh: should we take this backstage?

17: Uh…our clothes are tossed, so uh, we'd have to run for it!

Yoh: Um….nevermind! You know what? Right here is good!

Daxter: HELL NO! 17, get off…no…out of Yoh now! And both of you put your clothes back on! DAMNIT! THIS SHOW MUST GO ON! Horny bastards!

17: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…………………………………

Yoh: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…………………………………

Tidus: Let me guess "So not fair!" right?

17: No, where's our clothes?

Daxter: I dunno!

Yoh: Xx You mean we have to do the rest of our show in our boxers?

Tidus: YOU CAUSED THAT YOURSELF! HORNY BASTARDS!

17: XX oh shit…

Yoh: Well, keeping our boxers was a good idea, cause I don't think that I would have been able to work nude right? (laughs)

Daxter: If you were, you wouldn't be here. Tidus and I would've made sure of that.

Jak: TT

All: OO OMFG!

Jak: (bows head in defeat)

Daxter: WTF Jak? You got beat by Kool-Aid?

Kool-Aid: OH….YEAH! That's wat he get for stealin my line!

Jak: It was too dark to see him and I kept tripping on Kool-Aid Jammers! TT

17: O.o wow…

Yoh: Here we go 17! Our clothes! 

17: YAY!

Both: (get dressed) YAY! 

Daxter: Are you two finally done with that? Damn, I'm going blind man!

Jak: XX I GOT BEAT BY KOOL-AID! (runs off sobbing)

Audience: O.o oh my…

Kool-Aid: BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BITCH! I REMAIN SUPREME!

Jak's voice: I'm COMING BACK FOR YOU KOOL-AID!

Kool-Aid: yeah whatever! Now, who the fuck in here wants Kool-Aid Jammers?

Random Audience Members: WE DO!

Kool-Aid: (tosses the Jammers into the audience) Have em! My new flavors included!

Audience: YAY!

Yoh: Oh…that was a good one 17! I especially liked it when you put your…

Daxter: WE Don't NEED TO HEAR THAT YOH!

Yoh: What? I'm reflecting on the best parts!

17: (puts an around Yoh)

Yoh: (giggles)

17: (nuzzles) you like how I do anal!

Tidus: DIDN'T DAXTER JUST SAY WE DIDN'T NEED TO HEAR THAT?

17: What? It's only reflecting! You know, like when you see a good movie or something and you and your buds talk about all the good parts.

Daxter: You can't compare movies with gay sex!

Yoh: Correction! G.G.S! Great Gay Sex! Oh hell, that was just awesome while it lasted!

Tidus: (vomits on the already wet camera) Xx oh fuck! I'm so dead…

Yoh: Oh my…Dante's going to kill us…

17: It's time for our leave. Next episode, Dante returns. And the two guests on the show will be Tidus from Final Fantasy 10, also our co-cameraman on the show and the other person is Yusuke Urameshi from Yu Yu Hakusho, because a very nice gal reviewed and asked for us to get him for her.

Daxter: Oh…thank you reviewers! DAXTER LOVES YOU ALL!

Yoh: ; yeah ok…now…thank you all reviewers! And please keep it up! X3

17: (waves and nuzzles Yoh)

All: BYE BYE!


	6. Review Break From AFF

Yoh: Okies...this isn't really a chapter, but there are some things that need to be said.

Daxter: that you're gay?

17: No, that was established a long time ago.

Tidus: That I broke Dante's camera?

Yoh: No, but when that gets said...don't worry! 17 and I will pick out a very nice tombstone for you.

Tidus: such a caring thing for you to do...

17: I know! Aren't we so nice?

Tidus: Daxter, do you think that they saw the sarcasm?

Daxter: Nah.

Yoh: As I was saying. This isn't an actual episode but I have great news for the reviewers!

17: Can I say it please?

Yoh: Aw! But I wanna tell em!

Tidus: ACK! Just say it at the same time!

Yoh and 17: (speak in unison) The show will be continuing of course, two reviewers have asked to be on the show, and two reviewers have even requested an anime person for us to bring on.

Tidus: That should be fun! -;

Daxter: XD remember the policy! that 17 started!

Yoh: you think you're funny...

Tidus: But it holds its bargain! All new members of the show get the equal opportunity to sleep with the host!

17: BLAH! That doesn't exist! It's not even a real code for the show!

Yoh: Besides, I doubt that they would want to... ;

17: (shakes a fist) AND I WON'T LET EM!

Tidus: Chill man...okies. Here's what we have to say to those reviewers.

Daxter: YOU ALL SHALL LOVE ME!

All: NO!

Daxter: TT fine...back to the fangirls I go...

17: For those that wanted anime folks to appear on the show...we will make that happen instantly...

Yoh: And those that want to be on the show, we will make that happen too. Because we're such nice people.

Daxter: To Animewatermelon...our first reviwer ever! We thank you oh so much.

17: To Ben.H...yes, Dante is coming back and his wearabouts will be revealed! -

Tidus: Where did he go anyway?

All: GASP! XX

Tidus: What?

Yoh: (points) YOU ARE CURSED!

Tidus: Say what?

Daxter: OO YOU DON'T KNOW?

Tidus: Know what?

17: The Ancient Courtship of the Cameramen...

Tidus: Xox wtf?

Yoh: (takes out a ninja scroll and opens it up) The law states that whenever a cameraman is absent and sends another on his/her job to take his/her place, they must share a special courtship in which they go out to Dunkin Doughnuts and discuss Who What When Where and Why they are leaving and want a substitute.

17: (reads) Whomever doesn't fulfill this prophecy is doomed to damage the camera and any other that they may touch...

Daxter: (reads) Also...they...they...they...TT IT'S TOO MUCH TO SAY!

Tidus: WHAT?

All: XD GET BALLOONS!

Tidus: (falls over anime style)

17: But the balloons are filled with 100 plutonium and they will burst over your head whenever you get near a camera.

Tidus: But isn't that dangerous! OO

All: um...yup...poor you...

Yoh: So if Dante doesn't get ya...then the plutonium will...

17: Anyway, back onto the subject... To the next reviewer...Yui...yes we will put the man of your dreams on the show, and of course you can be on it. We are glad to make you happy.

Daxter: To Krystal...very nice description! Yes, you can be on the show. And as for those other authors that didn't want you in their fics...they're just meanies...

All: GASP!

Daxter: What?

17: (pulls out another ninja scroll) Whomever shall be a meanie goes under the violation of 'Niceness Author/Authoress Category'.

Daxter: and that's bad?

Yoh: YES!

Tidus: (reads from the scroll) Whomever shall hate a reviewer that actually gave their fic a good review and politely asked to be apart of the fic shall literally put the term 'Airhead' into effect...

17: And they don't qualify for a grammy...

Daxter: GASP! No grammy?

All: (shake head) no...no grammy.

Yoh: Krystal...from me to you...they were being mean when they wouldn't accept you. So we can spend an entire extra hour just talking about them.

17: O.o That's something new for you Yoh...

Yoh: What?

Tidus: Your niceness just dropped by 30...I think you need it back up.

Yoh: All right... (shrugs) then we wont get to talk about them?

17: Krystal...here's a suggestion. You get to talk about them just as if they were in front of you. - No one likes being rejected!

Daxter: Psht. You see! We're all nice people here. We do favors. Just as long as you be nice to us...we're nice to you! .

Yoh: That's why we're all one big happy family here at the studio!

Tidus: -.- erm...no...

Yoh: huh? why not?

Tidus: I don't think that I would want to live in the same house as you and 17 when you both practically can't get enough of each other and don't care who's there to complain about your constant...you know what...you two are friggin rabbits in a cage!

17: I take that as a compliment.

Yoh: -; well to that Tidus...I say...well...erm...lol...bunnies are cute aren't they?

Tidus: O.o I give up...

Daxter: And don't forget...(points to Tidus) Everyone...dead man walking...

Yoh: Now that we got said what we wanted to...just be sure to know...

17: This is not an episode...just a short interlude between commercials!

Daxter: But we will all see you and many new faces in the next episode.

All: (wave to the camera) Bye bye. And keep up with the splendid reviews.

A/N: I know that by now people are willing to wring my neck because I haven't updated in so long! But I must tell you why! Things have been hectic, I've been busy, there's a ferret under my bed, and I've had problems posting new chapters! So I'll do so ASAP since the next episode is complete. Don't worry! Sob sob I tell you it's done! I wanna post it for the greater good! Cheers up And they just might need more security guards next eppy! YEAH! o.o Fangirls can go squeak in the night! Flies off with a Jolly Rancher


	7. Episode 6

Outside…

Dante: (standing in front of a woman's bathroom door) Yeah now that's nice and all but can you hurry up? Makeup just to be in front of an audience doesn't take that long to apply does it?

Voice1: YES!

Voice2: …hmph…

Voice1: Aw…I can never get you to wear makeup…

Dante: You know what? I'll pick you girls up when you're done preparing. I have to check on my Olga! (walks into the studio)

Inside the studio…

Yoh: Here we are for the sixth episode!

17: We are so popular aren't we?

Daxter: IT'S BECAUSE OF ME! HELL YEAH! I ROCK!

Tidus: Of course you do Daxter….

Jak: OO you're agreeing with him?

Tidus: Gee, I figured you'd see my sarcasm well…

Jak: Oh yeah…yeah… I see it now…

Tidus: . riiiiiiiiiight….and I believe you…

Yoh: Anyway….don't mind them! We have an announcement for the audience!

17: I sense a lot of special guests arriving this episode…

Yoh: What will they be like?

17: Tidus…you're so dead…Dante's coming back and he wouldn't be too happy that you got Kool-Aid on his "Olga"

Tidus: Olga? Who the hell is Olga?

17: The camera!

Tidus: x.x So did you pick out a nice tombstone for me?

Yoh: (pulls up three different tombstones from behind the seat) Ok now. This first one is the regular grey with your name engraved on it. We can get these in two sizes. Either long or wide. To remember you, I'd suggest long so we can write on it and…

Tidus: OO you picked out actual tombstones?

Daxter: XD he thinks they were kidding when they said that he's getting murdered by Dante about the camera thing!

Tidus: O.O I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING AROUND!

17: Why would we kid about that?

Tidus: Maybe because it would be fun!

Yoh: Good point! But too bad for you!

17: Yoh and I went shopping together for the first time! YAY!

Jak: --; and you think a romantic shopping time is to shop for tombstones?

Daxter: Just….wow…..

Tidus: LET ME BUY ANOTHER OLGA! He'll never notice!

17: (shakes head) You can't do that!

Tidus: Why not?

Yoh: Don't you know? It's his camera so he'd customize it to his fits.

Audience: DEAD MAN WALKING!

Yoh: Listen closely I know a way out of your problem!

Tidus: You do?

17: Suicide?

Yoh: no……….

Daxter: Loving and worshipping me?

Yoh: I hope not. o.o Definitely no…

Peter Griffin: Giving me a sponge bath?

Yoh: OH GAWD NO!

17: . where the hell did he come from?

All: (shrug)

Dante: (walks onset)

Audience: OMFG! DANTE'S BACK! WE LOVE YOU DANTE! (hoots, w00ts, whistles, claps, cheers…)

Dante: (takes a bow)

Yoh: Tidus….my idea was you stand there and die!

Tidus: . what a wonderful plan!

Dante: Now where's my Olga?

Tidus: (gulps)

17: You know what? Dante…I have a question for you!

Dante: Ask away.

17: Where exactly have you been for the past episodes? The people missed you so!

Dante: (smirks widely) glad you asked! I'd like you all to meet two special guests. They're dedicated reviewers that wanted to be on the show!

Jak: So you were actually out tending to the reviewer's needs? Well, picking up those that wanted to be on the show?

Dante: The girls are in the bathroom right now and will be out any second.

Yoh: Girls?

Jak: I hope I don't smell insane fangirlism…

Dante: erm….maybe not that exactly…

Yoh: This is wonderful! I can't wait to meet them!

Tidus: I should get going now…

Dante: But where's my camera now?

Tidus: (points over to it and runs like crazy to get out)

Dante: (aims his gun Ebony and shoots past Tidus's head)

Tidus: (stops) T-T Don't hurt me!

Dante: Oh, I won't hurt you. I am going to murder you!

17: But…we don't want any messes on the set...

Yoh: Oh besides a few drops of c…

Daxter: DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT! WE DON'T NEED IT!

Yoh: Why don't we bring out our first guest then?

17: It's…

Kool-Aid: JAK!

Jak: YOU!

Kool-Aid: I'm back for more! OH YEAH! I enjoyed kicking your ass last time!

Jak: NOT THIS TIME!

Dante: Kool-Aid eh? Well guess what? I'm Charlie and I have 3 angels!

Kool-Aid: You wanna piece of this bitch?

Dante: I would file my nails right now if I was some evil villain, but that isn't my style. Girls! Ass kicking position!

Girl1: (Has short dark red hair and blue eyes. Wearing a black t-shirt, written on it "A wise man once said, 'I don't know ask a girl.'" Her eyes were red at the moment, due to the thrill of a battle. To aid her all knowing shirt was dark blue jeans, and matching colored fingerless gloves. Identified as Krystal)

Girl2: (Has brown hair with golden highlights and dark brown eyes. Wearing black jeans and a white T-shirt that reads "I LUV YUSUKE! So sue me!" right above a picture of the Spirit Detective. Identified as Yui.)

Girl3: (Has black hair with green eyes. Wearing a T-shirt with a wolf on it along with a pair of black pants and fingerless gloves. Identified as Chealsea.)

Dante: (Smirks) Krystal, Yui, and Chealsea are my angels! And I am….DANTE!

Jak: Isn't it supposed to be Charlie?

Yoh: But don't they both have two syllables?

Dante: EXACTLY! SO I AM….(puts enthusiasm in his voice) DAN-TEH!

17: (Rolls his eyes)

Kool-Aid: I'll still kick yo' ass! You and yo whores!

Chealsea: (Eye twitches)

Krystal: No he did not just call us whores!

Yui: Maybe you are but we're not!

Jak: Yeah anyway Kool-Aid! These girls are taking you down!

Tidus: (Pulls out another camera and tapes this)

Audience: W00T! KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS! KICK HIS ASS!

Yoh: LUCHA RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Tidus: Wtf? OO

Daxter: Um….that thing they say in Mucha Lucha before they wrestle… . 

17: (Snuggles Yoh close)

Dante: SICK EM GIRLS!

Krystal: Wait! Where's Bosley?

All: (Hear crickets chirping through the awkward silence)

Yui: WE NEED A BOSLEY!

Dante: Um……..hm…….Tidus! You're now Bosley!

Tidus: Nuh uh! I hired Wakka!

Wakka: (Steps out from backstage with a Blitzball in hand) Ah ya! I'm here buddah!

Tidus: ; Yeah ok……….

Krystal: Bosley!

Wakka: (Thwacks the blitzball at Kool-Aid) TAKE THAT SUCKAH!

Kool-Aid: OO OH SHIT…..

Jak: HAH HAH! TAKE THAT!

Chealsea: I am so going to kick your ass……(she sneers)

17: O.o

Yoh: (Snickers and clings to 17)

Tidus: (Smiles and hangs up a T-Mobile cell phone) Hey Yoh!

All: OO What is it Tidus?

Daxter: Yeah! What's with the smile?

Tidus: Yoh, since you want me dead so badly, I want you equally dead!

17: . Talk about Yoh like that again and see what I do to you! (shakes a fist)

Yoh: O.O Tidus…what have you done?

Tidus: Oh I just called your twin brother Hao a.k.a Zeke over and gave him directions…

Yoh: OO YOU DID WHAT?

17: You're dead!

Tidus: (runs offstage) YOU WANTED ME DEAD SO I RETURNED THE FAVOR!

Yui: Wow…..

Krystal: That's all messed up!

Chealsea: (shrugs) Now back to ass kicking!

Girls: (Jump Kool-Aid)

Jak: (joins in happily)

Audience: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Yoh: T.T 17, should we call out our first guest then?

17: I don't see why not…..come on out Yusuke Urameshi!

Yui: (stops drinking Kool-Aid's insides for a minute) Did I hear…..?

Yusuke: (walks out from backstage)

Yui: (walks away from the trouncing and drinking of Kool-Aid with sparkly eyes) Is he really here?

Yoh: Well yeah….it's Yusuke in the flesh!

Yusuke: (waves) Um…hi!

Audience: HI!

Yui: (glomps Yusuke) OHMYFUCKIGNGAWDIT'SACTUALLYYOUYOU'RETHEMANOFMYDREAMSOMFGILOVEYOUSOMUCH

Yusuke: (falls over) woah!

Yoh: (leans on 17 with a grin) They're getting along just fine!

17: (wonders what Keiko would say about this)

Yui: Keiko can kiss my butt! Yusuke's all mine!

Yusuke: I am?

Yui: (holds up fist in triumph) YOSH!

Dante: (pulls out Ebony and Ivory) Now Tidus…time to deal with you!

Tidus: NOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT THE HOSTS WANT ME DEAD!

Daxter: (dives into his fangirls) Well it's your own damn fault!

Kool-Aid: (dies)

Krystal: (her read eyes gone) A job well done Chealsea!

Chealsea: yeah ok….

Jak: W00t! I finally got that bastard back for last time!

Daxter: And I didn't have to slap you silly with bologna to get it done!

Jak: SO IT WAS YOU!

Yoh: Daxter….I suggest you run!

17: Yusuke…and Yui….please have a seat…

Krystal: What about us?

Yoh: ; You guys can have a seat too!

Krystal: OK! (gets into the third chair)

Chealsea: (sits in the same chair as Krystal)

17: Aren't we lucky they're comfy chairs?

Yui: YOSH! (snuggles with Yusuke)

Yusuke: (shrugs and snuggles back)

Yui: YAY! (is sitting on his lap)

Yoh: (blinkage at hetero-ness) Anyway…Yusuke you agreed to come here so we get to ask you questions and so on and so forth.

Yusuke: I know. I saw Kurama and Hiei on here and I thought it fun to go on too. Maybe Kuwabara will do the same.

17: That's nice…so anyway…our first question…do you have a crush on…

All: (hear Tidus let out an ear piercing SCREAM OF IMPENDING DOOM AND BARBECUE SAUCE!)

All: OO;

Dante: TAKE THAT! OLGA WAS NOTHING MORE THAN MY BABY OF A CAMERA HUH? WELL OLGA WAS MY PRIDE AND JOY!

Tidus: NO NO! NOT THE SWORD!

17: For any Tidus fans out there….just ignore that ok?

Yoh: (cough) anyway…..so Yusuke….

Tidus: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Dante: that's what you get for ruining my camera!

Tidus: OH THE PAIN! AGONY! AGONY! AGONY!

Yui: Why don't you skip that question then?

17: I was going to ask him if he likes Keiko….

Yusuke: My character on the show does. No one ever said that I, as an actor, had to!

Yui: YAY!

Yoh: So I take that as a no?

Yusuke: You got it!

Yoh: (blinks) well I'll be dammed…I always thought that Yusuke liked Keiko…

17: Then again, the girl of his dreams is right on his lap….

Yusuke: I love girls that worship me! (nuzzles Yui)

Yui: (thinks- It's like a dream come true! )

Krystal: (thinks- Feh……that's nice and all but I WANNA SEE SOME YAOI!)

Chealsea: Do they serve refreshments here?

Neo: (walks in) Sir, someone breeched security!

Yoh: O.O IT'S ZEKE! I KNOW IT!

Neo: Yeah, it's Zeke all right….and here he is….(holds up a squirrel)

Yoh: Um……Neo……..that's not Zeke…..

Neo: (looks at it and shrugs) oh well, it breeched security…(walks off) to the torture chamber it goes then...

17: (gets yaoi thoughts and whispers something to Yoh)

Yoh: X3 Good idea! Tehehe, but we'll save that for later ok? .

Krystal: (gets uber curious about the whispering and coughs)

Yusuke: Anymore questions then?

Yoh: How do you feel about Genkai for working you so hard?

Yusuke: THAT OLD HAG! UGH! She put me through all sorts of stuff! But…hey, it paid off didn't it?

17: Can I see your spirit gun?

Yusuke: I have nothing to aim at though….

Dante: AIM IT AT TIDUS!

Yui: .;

Yusuke: (shrugs)

Tidus: TT NUUUUUUUUUUU! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'VE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY!

Dante: Oh yeah and the tombstone you guys picked out is just great for Tidus…no one will miss him that much…

Audience: Aw……….

Dante: (pouts) the audience's puppy eyes are stopping me from killing him!

Chealsea: wouldn't stop me….

Neo: ANOTEHR BREECH IN SECURITY!

Yusuke: (aims his finger at the door, charging a spirit gun)

Yoh: If it's Zeke, you shoot!

Yui: Not even he's gonna hurt my Yusuke! I'll kick his ass!

17: What is it now Neo?

Neo: (looks at the now trembling door) it's a person this time…I think…

All: Oo You think?

Peter Griffin: (walks through the door) Oh my gawd! Look at what we have here! Seven prostitutes hanging around! (points to the front of the audience)

Some random high pitched voice: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7!

Peter Griffin: Seven! Seven prostitutes.

Yusuke: SPIRIT GUN!

Peter Griffin: X.X

Yoh: That wasn't Zeke either!

17: It wasn't? Well, I wouldn't imagine someone with the name Zeke to be fat….

Yusuke: Who the hell is that guy?

Neo: oO My bad, that's Peter Griffin from Family Guy!

All: Ooooooooooooh!

Krystal: Um……his bad? (inwardly smiles at the way Yoh is holding 17)

Chealsea: (notices) Krystal!

Krystal: Oo WHAT?

Chealsea: (shakes her head)

Yoh: Hey 17, before we die…can me make out one last time?

17: We're not gonna die! Just have Faith in security and when they fail have faith in me!

Yoh: Well security sucks today for some reason…wonder what the guys are up to!

Outside….

Security Officer1: Oh this shit is gooooooooooooood!

Security Officer2: I told you man! Walnuts store good crack!

Inside…

Yoh: THEY'RE GETTING HIGH?

Neo: Not my fault…I went to go visit Trinity and left them to their job!

17: We need new security officers. Maybe we'll get em next episode.

Daxter: I could be good security! This Zeke guy! I would karatefy his ass!

Jak: Yeah whatever Daxter……he'd probably make you into a carpet.

Yui: (claps with joy for Yusuke shooting his Rei gun)

Yusuke: (sits back down and nuzzles his fangirl, Yui)

Yui: - yay! (huggles) He's like my big strong CareBear!

17: What is it with heteros and CareBears?

Yoh: I don't know, but it's slightly scary 17….

17: Don't be afraid Yoh! (kisses tenderly)

Krystal: (is overjoyed that she gets to see some action!) YAY!

Chealsea: (glares)

Yusuke: (sweatdrops)

Yui: Can I get a kiss Yusuke?

Yusuke: Um……….sure….why not?

Yui: YAY! (kisses Yusuke)

Dante: (drags Tidus away again) Back to the torture chamber…

Neo: (drags out Peter Griffin's body with difficulty) FATASS! Should've been on Jenny Craig when you got the chance! Or South Beach diet! JUST SOME SHIT TO LOSE WEIGHT!

17: (pets Yoh)

Daxter: NOT THAT AGAIN IN HERE!

Audience: WOOT! (whistles, cheers, and hoots)

17: Daxter, don't hate because your only love is fangirls.

Daxter: Nothing wrong with fangirls! They l-o-v-e meh!

All: (Hear Tidus's shouts of terror etc. from the torture chamber)

Yoh: Um…who even built a torture chamber in here?

17: (Shrugs) Anyway Yusuke…what do you think of Kuwabara?

Yusuke: He's kinda…tall, and…

Yui: He's kinda tall and ugly and somewhat annoying.

Yusuke: But my best friend no matter what! See Yui. You have to look at the good qualities. There are Kuwabara fans out there. And Yukina likes him and Hiei just likes messing with him.

17: Sounds…hot…

Krystal: I agree. (Gets all starry eyed.)

Chelsea: (Fwaps Krystal upside the head)

Krystal: T.T owchies…

Yoh: (Looks to the door all anxious-like) Maybe Tidus was bluffing. How could he get Hao's number?

Yusuke: Maybe he stole it off a desperate fangirl?

Jak: Most likely?

Dante: (Now back to being the official cameraman and is happy)

Neo: Yoh. Your friends are now security officers.

17: Which ones?

Ren and Horo-Horo: We're back! (Alias Lenny and Trey)

Ren: We came back because we heard that Hao was on his way.

Horo-Horo: I mean dude! What kind of friends would we be if we left you hanging?

Yoh: Yay! My friends are here!

Neo: But we're going to need more than three security officers. We need guys with a 100 success rate.

Mysterious Voice1: That would be us compadre!

Mysterious Voice2: But I didn't think we were coming until the next episode! This one is almost over!

Mysterious Voice1: You dumbass! They need us now! Hello! The man said 100 success rate! And that's us!

Mysterious Voice2: (Sniffles) Fine! We're coming next episode then…

Yoh: And I had no clue as to who they could be.

Neo: But they sound…so…promising…(is being very sarcastic right now)

Ren: It doesn't matter. We can get the others for now.

Jaco, Faust, and Ryo come out.

Jaco: I've got a joke for everyone!

Ren: NO MORE JOKES! (Pokes Jaco with his scythe)

Faust: (Smiles) We're were to protect Master Yoh from Hao.

Ryo: That's right! Anyone against Master Yoh will get it!

Krystal: Phooey! No yaoi…

Yusuke: Is my interview over?

Dante: Um guys…you've only had one guest this entire episode. Doesn't that mean you're really behind schedule?

17: Come to think about it…

Chelsea: But you've had four guests or have you forgotten us already?

Yoh: Oh yeah! (sweatdrops) My bad!

Chelsea: And no one answered my question. Do they serve refreshments here? I usually have a sandwich with my Kool-Aid.

Daxter: Darling! I present to you! My lunch!

Chelsea: Um…thanks…(accepts the lunch)

Tidus: (crawls out) need….a….curaga…

Wakka: (wakes up from standing in his sleep) Oh! Forgot I was even here! (Yawns and drags Tidus back to Spira)

Tidus: (getting dragged and sobbing)

Krystal: o.o That poor guy…

Chelsea: Hosts, we are staying here next episode.

17: Don't we have a code or something against that?

Yoh: Nope!

17: Meaning these girls can stay here as long as they please?

Jak: What happened to, "We're all nice guys here?"

17: We are nice, but there's only enough niceness we can do in one day.

Krystal: (laughs) That's just…wrong! Oh well! We're not leaving! We got free food! And free Kool-Aid!

Yoh: Yeah but any other people may want to stay forever too!

Dante: You say that as if they have no lives.

Yui: We don't?

Yusuke: Um…I have to go now. But I'm bringing Yui with me.

Yui: Yay!

Yoh: On the next episode of Conspiracies, we'll find out who those two mysterious guys were and my brother Hao might come on and we'll definitely have Kuwabara from Yu Yu Hakusho and Heero Yui from Gundam Wing.

17: That's right Gera Lain, we didn't ignore your request. Tah tah for now.


	8. Episode 7

A/N: For the viewers entertainment, I decided to fulfill every single request that I have received. But first let me respond to a few.

Krystal – Aren't ya happy! You should show your pal Chelsea that I put you both on. Finally. Don't kill me because I was ultra late with it!

Ben H. – Thank you for being so kind as to say that this is the best Shaman King Fic ever! Thank you times infinity! And now you finally know where Dante went! Tehehe!

Yui – I got you and Yusuke in and he took you home! Yayness! That's like any fangirls dream come true. So happy for you and Yusuke. Hope you liked it!

Gera Lain – You weren't ignored! I hate Relena… so this episode is dedicated to you! So prepare for lots of Relena bashing and Heero and Duo action!

No Namey – That's a good idea, but you know, Shonen Jump is always adding new animes to it all the time. I can't keep up with that many. But I will try to make that a reality. Kinda…stopped reading Shonen Jump cause I just got mangas instead….but don't worry! Never say never! I will try!

Lt. Higi – Yes, Ranma ½ will come on just for you buddy! Just be patient with me! I'm like a genie with a lot of wishes to make come true.

Sirhcnotlih – Bringing Len and Trey back on should give you a clue. You're getting that kiss. Kuwabara's on this episode for you okies? Dedicated to you! Putting on FMA will take some time. But with the rate that I add random people, well then we won't have to wait long right?

Myssy – Kuja will be on…and yes…he is a guy, no matter how hard you try to look otherwise. XD Thanks for calling the fic great!

Shadow – I'm going faster than before, now I'm going as fast as I can. I'll take awhile to update because I'm now doing like tons of eps each time I take a long time to update. You can count on a lot up updates.

Evermist – I don't know who that is…and I feared that one person would come along and give me a person from an anime that I don't know…however! No one ever said that I couldn't look them up and try my best to get how they act…or I could just make them OOC, but what fun would that be? I'll grant your request ok? .

Phillis92 – Thank you so much! You're idea was like totally brilliant! All this time I never thought of having Vergil on besides Dante. And just so you know…they won't be incest twins! XD As you wish! I wouldn't make them like that anyway. I don't think Vergil would… . like that…

A/N: Had to send special messages out to all of my reviewers! I love you all! Know that! Now onto the episode!

17: Last time on Conspiracies…

Krystal: OH OH! CAN I DO IT?

Yoh: (covers 17's mouth) SURE YOU CAN!

Krystal: Last time on Conspiracies…we defeated the EVIL KOOOL-AID AND DRANK HIM UP! Yum! It was cherry flavored…and yeah and Chealsea got snakes that Daxter gave to her! How sweet! And…is Tidus dead yet?

Dante: I'm not done torturing him…oh wait…never mind Wakka dragged him out…

Chealsea: riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight….anywho….

Krystal: Yeah ok…so…(whispers) and I didn't get any of that hot yaoi action! Geez! When do I get some? (cough) Anywho…um…let's see…we're all worried that Zeke is coming!

Yoh: Yes we are!

Neo: And there are continuous breeches in security!

Dante: That's your fault man!

Yoh: Today's first guest is Kuwabara from Yu Yu Hakusho!

Kuwabara: (skips out with a goofy grin)

Ren: (looks around) I don't sense Zeke nearby…

Horo-Horo: THAT COULD BE ZEKE IN DISGUSIE! (points at Kuwabara) GET HIM!

Faust: I don't think…

Kuwabara: OO OMFG! SPIRIT SWORD!

17: Fight and I blast you all with a beam... 

Dante: No fighting? Since when was that a rule?

17: Well our reviewer sirchnotlih may not want Kuwabara killed! He wanted him on the show! We couldn't just kill him off!

Yoh: So we've had Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara on the show now! That's awesome!

Jak: Killed that pussy ass pitcher! OH YEAH! I'M THE MAN!

Neo: SIRS! BREECH IN SECURITY!

Yoh: IT'S ZEKE! I KNOW IT!

Neo: YES! I'm sure of it!

Chealsea: It's another squirrel…o.o

Kuwabara: Eh…it's after the nut in my pocket…

Krystal: (giggles)

Neo: o-o Oh…well give it so they'll stop coming in here!

Kuwabara: (tosses the nut at the squirrel)

Squirrel: (catches it and scurries out)

Yoh: Isn't that nice! He gives free nuts…

Daxter: ARE WE ALL AWEARE OF HOW WRONG THAT SOUNDS?

Dante: XD You have a weird mind little weasel…

Daxter: I AINT NO LITTLE WEASEL!

Chealsea: (eating the snacks given to her by Daxter)

17: Kuwabara! Please take a seat!

Kuwabara: Already did! Tehehe!

Yoh: Now we start the questions. Are you sure that you wanted to be on this show?

Kuwabara: Yeah! Everybody else was on!

Krystal: (coughs) Well Hiei wasn't a guest…

17: I forgot about that…

Dante: Then again…anyone that just bursts in is a guest…in my book anyway…

Voice: Your book sucks!

Dante: SAY THAT TO MY FACE YOU FUCKING TWAT!

Audience: o.o Who the hell said that?

Dante: YEAH! SHOW YOUR FACE YOU FUCKING PRICK!

Kuwabara: Is it the Winnie the Pooh ghost?

Yoh: Ah shucks! You know that's only legend around here!

Ren: Yoh I think you of all people should believe in ghosts! Your partner is one!

17: PARTNER? WHAT PARTENER?

Horo-Horo: Chill man! He didn't mean partner like that!

Faust: Indeed.

Horo-Horo: Dude you need like a brownie break or something…

Yoh: What's a brownie break?

17: (takes a pill from a bottle that says on the front "Chill")

Dante: They have real chill pills?

Voice: BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE AUTHORESS©!

Kuwabara: OMG!

All: What?

Kuwabara: B-BUT BUT CHILL PILLS WERE MADE BY THE UMBRELLA CORPERATION!

Hiei: SPELL IT!

Kuwabara: G-g-g-g-SHUT UP! YOU KNOW I CAN'T! YET!

Krystal: o.o where did he come from?

17: Umbrella can't hurt me! (starts mutating?) OO THE HELL?

Yoh: OO HE'S BECOMING A ZOMBIE!

All: (GASP IN PURE HORROR AND SQUIRRELY WRATH)

Chealsea: He's not a zombie…

Sunny from the Co-Co Puffs Box: I'M COO COO FOR CRACK!

Kuwabara: OO NOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S GONE UNDER HIEI'S INFLUENCE!

Hiei: (gets pissed) SPELL IT!

Kuwabara: (cries) SHUT UP!

Hiei: Thought so!

Chealsea: You spell it!

Hiei: I will!

Krystal: (Glares from her friend to Hiei) ooooh….dammit…it's not yaoi!

17: I'M NOT A ZOMIBE!

Random Audience Member: BUT I AM!

Neo: (shoots the person)

The Magical Yaoi Fairy: (flies down from the ceiling and taps 17 and Yoh with his magic wand)

Kuwabara: OO HOLY SHIT! THE MAGICAL YAOI FAIRY IS A GUY? I thought it was some deranged fangirl!

Ren: What magical yaoi fairy?

Magical Yaoi Fairy: (sprinkles some dust on Ren and flies away)

Neo: INTRUDER! IT'S ZEKE! (fires a rocket at the fairy)

Yoh: That's not…

Yaoi Fairy: HAHAHAHAHA! YOU MISSED BIA- (gets caught in a fan)

Dante: HAHAHAH! BITCH!

Krystal: (cries for the death of the fairy but gets over it since it got to do something before it became deceased)

Yoh: I feel funny…

17: Me too….

Daxter: OH HELL NO!

Yoh: TO THE BACKMOBILE?

Kuwabara: Eh?

Dante: He means the room backstage that somehow got a bed…

Kuwabara: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Kurama: Here Hiei…here boy!

Hiei: I am no dog…and I'm only here to make fun of Kuwabara…

Kurama: (shrugs) Nothing I can do…

Krystal: (drooling) yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi yaoi!

Chealsea: -.-; Oh boy…

17: Let's go Yoh! TO THE BACKMOBILE! (lifts Yoh up and dashes backstage)

Horo-Horo: x.x What is a brownie break?

Ren: You made it up dimbwit!

Kuwabara: WHAT ABOUT MY QUESTIONS?

Hiei: (flips Kuwa the bird) NONE FOR YOU BIA!

Kurama: (slaps Hiei) Now I don't know where you got that language from but don't use it around me.

Hiei: Here Kurama I got your favorite cd and headphones…

Kurama: GIMMEEEEE! (takes it and runs off in haste)

Hiei: That was easy…now I can make fun of ugly all I want…

Dante: ALRIGHT! Since the hosts are off a screwin' that means I take over the show!

Chealsea: Why you?

Daxter: IT SHOULD BE ME! Right ladies? (Gets fangirl approval)

Chealsea: Well let's go by majority vote.

Kuwabara: And I get questions? (looks hopeful)

Hiei: You'll get as many questions as you have fans…

Kuwabara: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful…

Hiei: Not only did you use a big word! (gasp) but one irrelevant to you currently! Sorry old pal.

Kuwabara: THAT'S IT! I'M SICK OF THIS! (gets in a stance)

Alphonse Elric The Metal Suit: (dashes in) WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEE!

Tohru Honda From Fruits Basket: (also dashes in)

Kuwabara: Let the cat lovers unite and let us summon!

Hiei: WTF?

Kuwa, Tohru, and Al: (chant) we call upon the powers that be, we are the feline loving charmed three, hear us call and hear our chant, it's our wish that we want grant, we call on you to summon cat, one that can trounce any rat, hear our call and hear our plea, we want a kitty you see!

Krystal: OO What kind of friggin' rhyme….is THAT?

Daxter: The hell did they just do?

All: (hear a thunderstorm)

Kuwa, Tohru, and Al: (suddenly in orange robes)

Dante: AND NOW FOR A SHORT INTERLUDE!

Short Interlude

Kouga: That's right…we're back for our short dance interlude.

Yoko Kurama: With me…

Ryou Bakura: And me!

Kouga: That's right, you all thought that we wouldn't be back. But we are so haha! No one asked for us, we're just here!

Audience: (claps and cheers)

Kouga: Last time was salsa, now we've got some break dancing for you…

Ryou: But I thought it was ballroom dancing this time!

Yoko: NO! I say break dancing!

Ryou: No! . Ballroom dancing!

Kouga: Let's end this short intermission!

Yoko: NO! WE HAVE AGREED!

Ryou and Yoko: PLAY THE GHOSTBUSTERS THEME!

Kouga: o.o Ok…(does so on the boom box)

Ryou and Yoko: (do the robot)

End of short intermission

Dante: Are the hosts back yet?

Krystal: (gone as well)

Chealsea: (looks around) Nope not yet…and…my friend is missing…

Daxter: The pretty one?

Chealsea: -.- You saying I'm not pretty…

Daxter: O.o Just saying her earrings were flashy and shiny…

Kuwabara: KITTY ARISE!

Tohru: Here Kyo! Come to mama!

Alphonse: I wonder why brother didn't follow me here…; (Wonders if Edward even knows he is apart of the Kitty Cult, thinks aloud)

Hiei: What cat are you summoning? I don't see anything!

Relena Peacecraft: (is summoned) I am…here!

Kuwabara: THE HELL DID SHE COME FROM?

Tohru: o.o But we meant to summon a cat!

Alphonse: (throws catnip at Relena) Nope, not getting happy…

Relena: Please? Why do you throw things at me so?

Neo: BREECH IN SECURITY!

Sirhcnotlih: (dashes in, jumps on Tao Ren, and kisses him on the lips)

Ren: (is kissed and taken by surprise)

Chealsea: (snaps a picture for Krystal when she comes back) Why do I bother?

Neo: ANOTHER BREECH! (open fires at Relena)

Yoh: (dashes out from backstage with clothes inside out) GUNSHOTS!

17: (comes out shortly after lopsided) THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Dante: . Neo shot an unexpected guest…

Relena: I'm alright...

Daxter: o-o It's a miracle!

Kuwabara: (gives another squirrel a nut)

Neo: ANOTEHR BREECH! (snatches up that squirrel and brings it to the torture chamber)

Yoh: (clothes on backwards) When did we get a torture chamber? And what happened to the first squirrel?

Neo: Oh I gave it THE GAS!

All: (GASP)

Tohru: Oh how horrible! (Runs out crying)

Hiei: (is at a loss)

Alphonse: oo The-the poor squirrel! (runs out sobbing to his best ability)

Relena: I must go heal that squirrel!

Neo: MOVE AND YOU GET THE GAS!

17: She's not supposed to be here! She wasn't even a guest! It's Heero from Gundam Wing! RELENA NOT INCLUDED!

Yoh: Oh yeah…

Krystal: (sneaks out with YohX17 taped for her to watch later. Whistles and pockets this tape for . future reviewing)

Chealsea: . Oh wow…

Daxter: Loony ass….

Relena: Don't make fun of me!

Hiei: Sheesh, you're just as ugly as Kuwabara…

Kuwabara: HEY!

Hiei: I'm only comparing…

Horo-Horo: o.o How long have I been frozen here?

Ren: I got a kiss from a fanboy…

Faust: Cheer up. It's a sign that you are indeed loved.

Krystal: YAY! He got that kiss! AND I DIDN'T GET THAT ON TAPE?

Chealsea: Kodak moments deserve Kodak cameras. (waves camera in front of Krystal)

Krystal: OO YOU GOT IT FOR MYUAH?

Chealsea: (sigh) Hai…

Random Guy: Isn't that cute? (shouts) BUT IT'S WROOOOOOOOOONG!

Daxter: MY EARS MAN! MY EARS!

Fangirls: (hiss at the random guy)

Neo: BREECH!

Yoh: Another squirrel?

Kuwabara: WHAT ABOUT MY INTERVIEW?

17: Forget it kid! We're moving on up…

Dante: . At least things haven't gone completely disastrous…

Relena: I'm on my period…

Dante: NEVERMIND! JUST DON'T FUCKING LISTEN TO THE CAMERAMAN WHEN HE SAYS THAT THINGS ARE FINE! HE DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN IT ANYMORE! GODDAMN YOU! YOU NASTY BITCH! NO ONE NEEDED TO KNOW THAT!

Neo: (shoots Relena) DIIIIIIIIIIIIE INTRUDER! (vanishes into the shadows)

Relena: (eats a Zenzu bean?)

Daxter: BITCH!

17: SHE STOLE THOSE OFF THE Z WARRIORS! DAMN HER!

Yoh: (sweatdrops) Let me call in the next guest…

Kuwabara: But I'm still here! EVERYONE STOP IGNORING ME!

Hiei: You're an ugly fuck! Everyone should ignore you!

Kuwabara: (dives into the audience) I DO HAVE FANS! WATCH ME FLY!

All: OO

Krystal: . Oh wow…

Chealsea: He'll fall right into that campfire set up by the Daxter fangirls…

Kuwabara: XP

Fangirls: (put out the fire after he burned to death) YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Daxter: That's my girls!

17: Oh this is some bullshit! Heero! Please come on out!

Heero: (Comes out with Duo)

Duo: What's up?

Ren: (walks off with his fan)

Horo-Horo: WAIT FOR ME!

Yoh: Wait Horo-Horo! Tell me something first!

Horo-Horo: What?

Yoh: What's a brownie break?

Horo-Horo: I dunno…ask a girl scout…

Yoh: Oh ok go on then.

Duo: I was in girl scouts for two years!

Heero: Wouldn't Hildy be in girl scouts?

17: Time to start questioning!

Dante: I think we should get to a commercial!

17: Why?

Relena: YOU! DEVIL! HEATHEN! BACK AWAY FROM MY HEERO!

Duo: Bitch up yours!

Relena: Giggabo!

Duo: Slut!

Relena: Gigalo!

Duo: Carpet muncher!

Yoh: Hold on a sec! Calm down a bit here!

Dante: Kuwabara's dead!

Daxter: Oh damn…

Chealsea: Saw that one coming…

Krystal: (goes into a fit of laughter)

17: Oh too bad for him. NEO!

Neo: (sweeps up the body)

Hiei: MY DREAMS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE AND OWWWW! (gets dragged away by the ear by Kurama) THE FUCK?

Kurama: YOU KILLED KUWABARA!

Kyle: YOU BASTARD!

Cartman: RESPECT MY AUTHORITAAAAAAEH!

Neo: (gives Kenny THE GAS)

Relena: (cowers in fear)

Stan: OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED KENNY!

Kyle: YOU BASTARD!

Duo: AHHAH! That'll be you if ya keep messin round with me and my man!

Relena: Your man! You are mistaken!

17: I'm already sick of her proper talking ass…

Yoh: OO HER ASS TALKS! MY GOD SHOOT IT CLOSED! SAVE ME 17!

Krystal: (is going hysterical)

Chealsea: (trying not to laugh)

Dante: BY THE POWER OF SPARDA!

Daxter: (chuckles) DUDE! You're not He-man! Get on with it!

Relena: (makes a loud raspy voice) I AM SKELETOR!

All: (hear moaning from the audience)

Duo: The hell is that?

Heero: (shoots a person in the audience) A zombie!

Random Person: I'VE BEEN BITTEN! (Screams in a mad panic and jumps on the set) I'VE BEEEEEEN BITTEN! GIVE ME THE ANTI-VIRUS NOW!

17: How about I kill you instead?

Heero: Turn into a zombie and bite Relena!

Duo: SEE BITCH HE DOESN'T WANT YOU! I mean he wants you…DEAD!

Relena: No way would I believe that! You have him brainwashed! I know my Heero loves me!

Heero: Leave me be you deranged ass-kissing bitch and a half…

Relena: SEE? Those are Duo's words!

Duo: I should so Deathscythe her ass right now!

17: No fighting! Neo takes care of the trash! He'll be here for it in a minute!

Daxter: IT'S ALIVEEEEEEEE!

Fangirls: (shriek)

Yoh: The heck?

Kuwabara: (comes alive like Frankenstein)

Krystal: OO It's FRANKEN-BARA!

All: (shriek and run in circles for two minutes)

Dante: (not running) Damn this is sad!

Relena: (gets tripped by Duo)

Duo: May you one day make some rapist happy ma'am.

Heero: (takes a seat) On with the interview….?

17: (sits and puts Yoh oh his lap) Yeah well…

Kuwabara: I SHOULD BE A CEREAL!

Dante: AND NOW FOR OUR COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Commercial One

Yugi: (sigh) This breakfast is so boring! (poking a spoon in Trix)

Tsukasa from .Hack/Sign: (gazing down at Fruit Loops) Very boring…

Hisoka from Hunter X Hunter: Is your cereal way too boring to eat? How about some Franken-Bara! From the makers of "I Can't Believe It's Another Tub Of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Without Fabio" and "Selsen Blue", the only shampoo for a ninja of "Franken-Bara"!

Box of Franken-Bara: (rolls out and onto the table between Yugi and Tsukasa, being a shitty brown cereal box with a picture of Kuwabara on the front giving a thumbs up with Frankenstein stitches on his forehead and Daxter perched on his shoulder waving the middle finger)

Yugi: (all enthusiastic like) ALRIGHT! IT'S A BOX OF FRANKEN-BARA!

Tsukasa: Now we won't ever have boring cereal again!

Hisoka: That's right kids! Franken-Bara is so much fun because when you pour the cereal into your bowl like so…(pours Tsukasa a bowl, who adds the milk) The alphabet and number shaped marshmallows become on Ouija board instantly! So with this cereal kids you can talk to the dead! Even adults love this cereal…

Orochimaru: from Naruto: (fixes himself a bowl and looks at it) Third Hokage…you old fart if you can hear me…fuck you!

Cereal: (fumbles around and spells out) F-U-C-K Y-O-U T-O-O

Hisoka: AND THERE YOU HAVE IT! A delicious yet spooky ass breakfast!

Yugi: Pharaoh! Are you there? (Cereal spells out Y-E-S) YAY! You really are!

Hisoka: There are no refunds and if your house becomes haunted than it is not our fault or the product but in fact your dumbass children trying to conjure the dead in your own home! (smiles widely) Franken-Bara! Sold in all stores now!

Commercial Two

Sexy woman's voice: Hey out there? Wanna come to my place? Two words for you - Lonely and sexy! Wanna talk to me or another lonely sexy girl in your area? Just pick up your cell phone and dial….

Woman in the Pine Sol commercials: BITCH NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR COMMERCIALS! (looks to the camera and coughs) Ahem…wanna clean up dirty bitches? Well the power of Pine Sol can do just that for you! Brought to you by the makers of Pine Sol and Franken-Bara breakfast cereal comes 'Kleen-Hoe'! A spray that's made specifically for doing away with bitches you don't like…now let's let dis hoe keep talking…and then let's see what happens if we spray some Kleen-Hoe!

Sexy woman voice: And we can get some whipped cream and…

Pine Sol Lady: ENOGUGH OF YOU BITCH! (sprays some Kleen-Hoe on the telephone)

Telephone: (screams) Operators are standing by!

Pine Sol Lady: See? Instant relief! Now let's see how this does on the street. (dashes off)

Tea/Anzu from Yugioh: (walking down the street)

Pine Sol Lady: Watch me clean a hoe right off the street! So no more little kids follow under her nasty influences! (walks up to Tea) Excuse me ma'am!

Tea Gardener: Oh hi there! It's a nice da-

Pine Sol Lady: (sprays her in the eyes)

Tea: AHHHH! OH GOD MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! (runs out on to the street, gets hit by a speeding truck, flies into the sky, and falls into a sewer hole)

Pine Sol Lady: Once again! Fine results! You can get a spray bottle of Kleen-Hoe at any market nearby!

Commercial Three

Yoh: Wanna be on Conspiracies?

Krystal: I got to be on! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Yui: ME TOO AND I GOT TO GO HOME WITH YUSUKE!

Chealsea: (sweatdrops) And me three…

Krystal: And sirhcnotlih got a kiss from Tao Ren just like he wanted!

17: We're like genies that grant wishes non-stop.

Yoh: But we're good genies!

Daxter: And I'm a sexy weasel!

Fangirls: (praise Daxter and shower him with sparkles)

Kuwabara: I HAVE A CEREAL!

Dante: Forget all of them…if you want to be on…just review…and submit a request…you know, the usual stuff!

End of commercial break

Dante: The camera makes me took 8ft tall…

Kuwabara: At least my pimple wasn't noticeable…

17: Aren't doing commercials so much fun?

Krystal: Yeah! We got to be in a commercial!

Heero: Now do I get the interview?

Duo: (growling at Relena, decides to leave for a while) Heero baby, I've gotta pick something up to benefit the both of us ok? (kisses Heero and leaves in a rush)

Heero: (shrugs)

Yoh: So Heero, what's it like now that Wing Zero is at a rest?

Heero: Controlling it…that was great…and well…I speak for all the pilots when I say that we miss them.

17: Does this mean that you've grown emotions over time?

Heero: Don't go that far with it…

Kuwabara: (Happily skipping in the back, waving around a box of Franken-Bara) MY CEREAL! MY CEREAL! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Dante: Yo' Neo!

Neo: (shoots Kuwabara with a tranquilizer blowdart in the neck) Back to torturing the squirrel…

Daxter: . If I were those squirrels…I would so retaliate…

Dante: Don't go there….o.o

Chealsea: Can we ask questions too?

Yoh: Sure!

Krystal: HEYYY! Heero! You and Duo? A couple?

Heero: What do you think?

Krystal: (mutters) I could so get some yaoi action there…

17: So Heero how did you and Duo get together?

Heero: (sighs)

Relena: Good thing that trouble maker is gone! Now…OHHHH HEERO! I'm all yours and you're all mine!

Heero: Fuck off!

Relena: Not without you my love!

Heero: (ignores Relena) Without Duo, I would've shot myself a long time ago.

Yoh: I can see…why…oo;

Chealsea: Why don't you just shoot her?

Heero: Duo can't afford my bail if I go to prison. Wufei would tell me to repent for what I've done, basically he would leave my ass in there and let me serve my time. Trowa's just flat out broke…I mean…not even the circus can make more than even the mailman a week. And Quatre? He has the money alright…but he's "A-Screwin-A-Trowa-Barton" too much to even notice. They'd talk about it and even make plans…and then comes the climax… (snorts)

Chealsea: Couldn't you do it stealthy and get away with it?

Heero: I wish…things wouldn't get complicated that way…

Relena: I have another card for you! (Slaps a card on Heero's lap)

17: Bitch gotta go…

Dante: I could shoot her ya know…

Heero: (tears the card up in front of her) Take that!

Relena: BUT YOU DON'T MEAN THAT! I know Duo has you hypnotized to not like me when you know you love me back and… (goes on talking)

Daxter: GAWD! She sounds like the adults in the Peanuts…

Heero: Relena! SHUT THE HELL UP!

Relena: But you know that you're really hiding things and…

Heero: (looks to the hosts) I just want to strangle her right now.

17: You're allowed to do it on this show! (smirks)

Heero: First I want to see what Duo…

Duo: (bursts in) NEVER FEAR! DUO IS HERE! (holds up a shopping bag) I got the item that will solve our problems Heero!

All: (look at the bag all interested like)

Relena: (still talking, oblivious to the fact that no one is listening to her rambling)

Duo: (pulls out a spray of Kleen-Hoe) Only cost me $8.93!

Heero: Thank god…

17: (laughs) I so wanna see how it works.

Yoh: The commercial was very convincing!

Dante: Oh this is gonna be good.

Daxter: (laughing along with his fangirls)

Audience: XD

Duo: RELENA!

Relena: (keeps rambling)

Duo: BITCH!

Relena: (snaps back to reality) Excuse you Mr. Maxwell but you can't just-

Duo: EAT SPRAY BIATCH! (sprays Relena with Kleen-Hoe)

Relena: (screams like a banshee) I'M MELTING MELTING!

Heero: Good riddens to bad bitches…

Yoh: Oh my!

17: Stuff works like a charm…we should keep some around for when Zeke comes…

Yoh: You sure about that 17? I'm not sure if that'll…

17: Have Faith!

Krystal: (crossing her fingers and praying for some yaoi)

Yoh: (nods) ok 17… (leans in and kisses)

Krystal: YES!

Chealsea: Blinku…

Daxter: AW GEEZ!

Dante: Didn't they just finish a round or something?

Duo: Damn…they're giving me ideas…! (leans over towards Heero with a goofy grin)

Heero: I won't kiss you with that look on your face.

Duo: (snickers and kisses Heero)

Horo-Horo: It's a kissing fest? O.o Where's REN?

Faust: (shrugs)

Dante: Cameras still rolling…

Audience: Awwwwwwwwwww….(all sweet like)

Random guy from before that was turning into a zombie: (Turns into a zombie, slouches over and eats Relena's flesh)

Neo: o.o…I didn't notice that he was still here….

Daxter: You're supposed to shoot em in the head or something…

Chealsea: . Nah…leave it...this is Relena Peacecraft after all.

Jak: (eats a Krabby pattie)

Audience Member: I have a question! For those that aren't…err…making out…

Dante: Hm?

Audience Member: Why did Winnie the Pooh die?

Daxter: Because he wasn't the nice bear you knew…he was a fucking prick!

Audience Member: (sits down)

Kuwabara: (still glowering over the cereal) MY OWN CEREAL!

Faust: He really can let that go….

Horo-Horo: What happened to Jaco?

Daxter Fangirls: OO WHERE DID HE GO? THAT INVISIBLE! HE WENT OUT UNSEEN TO GO STEALING SLEENS AND YOU GO! WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH!

Jak: . What a lively song…

Alphonse Elric: I've come back!

Edward Elric: (running out after) Dammit Al!

Chealsea: And where did they come from?

Krystal: YAY! They were requested also! But where's Mustang?

Edward: At home…doing stuff…

Alphonse: Yup yup! I just had to get nii-san to come here after I came here last time! I met two nice people who love cats!

Kuwabara: CATS! WHERE? I LOVE CATS!

Edward Elric: So I see…

Dante: (shrugs) Well isn't this convenient?

Neo: SECURITY BREECH!

Yoh: (steps away from 17's fly to shrivel in panic) IT'S ZEKE! I KNOW IT!

17: (zips up his fly) OO OH SHIT! NO ONE SAW NOTHING!

Daxter: 

Krystal: tehehehe….yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Chealsea: I'll bet it isn't…

Neo: (points at Edward Elric) THE INTRUDER! THE BEAN RIGHT THERE!

Alphonse: o.o Oh no…(holds back Edward)

Edward: (being held back by the suit of armor) I AM NOT SO SMALL THAT I HAVE TO CLIMP TO THE TOP OF A LADDER TO TOUCH THE TOP OF A FOUR YEAR OLD'S HEAD!

Neo: Yes you are!

Edward: I AM NOT SO SMALL THAT I CAN GO HORSEBACK RIDING ON A DUST BUNNY!

Roy Mustang: SHRIMPO!

Yoh: . Oh wow…

Duo and Heero: (still making out)

Krystal: (eyes sparkle with satisfaction and a camera in hand, makes a peace sign with a triumphant grin)

Edward: I AM NOT SO SMALL THAT I WOULD GET SQUISHED FLAT BY A BABY TOMATO!

Alphonse: (sighs) Oh nii-san…

Daxter: XD I like this guy…he talk jokes about himself…

Fangirls: (laugh along with Daxter)

Edward Elric fangirls and guys: (dash in hoards)

Edward: OO;

Alphonse: OwO;

Roy Mustang: I GET NO FANGIRLS!

Dante: You gets no love… . 

Roy Mustang: THIS IS UNFAIR TO THE MAX! IT'S ALL THAT FLEAS FAULT!

Alphonse: Don't talk about Black Hayate…!

Roy: I was talking about your brother!

Edward: I AM NOT SO SMALL THAT I CAN DROWN IN A DEW DROP!

Al: OO ED!

Roy: TINY!

17: This!

Horo-Horo: (points) ZEKE!

All: OO WHERE? (hear an organ playing)

Dante: Nah, that's just….HOLY SHIT!

To be continued….

A/N: Don't hate me because of cliffhangers! HAHAH! I'll bet you even thought that I couldn't even make cliffhangers to this fic! Oh yeah and don't hurt me because I took so long for updates! T.T


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